Ich Bin Nich' Ich
by Lightning Sage
Summary: -Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora, Zexion/Demyx- Roxas thinks he's asexual. Axel thinks he's turning gay. Marluxia thinks he's going crazy. Zexion thinks...whatever Zexion thinks. During college...for better or worse, everyone changes. Sequel to Spring Nicht.
1. Part I

PLEASE READ:

This story is a **sequel** to _**Spring Nicht**_. At this point, reading _**Spring Nicht**_ is not required, but **STRONGLY RECOMMENDED.**

Disclaimer: The characters from Kingdom Hearts are the intellectual property of Square Enix. The writing, however, belongs to Lightning Sage. Do not copy any part or the entirety of this story.

**Eventual pairings:** Axel/Roxas, Riku/Sora, Zexion/Demyx. The rest are surprises!

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part I

* * *

I dreamt of blue eyes.

That was the first clue I was dating the wrong chick.

I mean, Larxene was fine. She was pretty—blonde hair and green eyes—and she was good in bed. She could be tough to get along with, but at least she wasn't one of those 'oh-my-God-I-broke-a-nail' types. I hated those girls. So superficial. But I digress.

To tell the truth, I've always felt that there was something a bit…_off_…with my relationship with Larxene.

It wasn't anything huge. It was just that…we couldn't be _honest_ with each other. I mean…I always felt like we were both hiding a part of ourselves from each other. Especially when we slept together. I felt like there was always something in bed she wanted that I couldn't give her.

When my sophomore year of college started, the dreams took a clearer shape. The dreams I kept having…I kept seeing a man kissing me. It was a desperate kiss—the kind you'd give your lover if he was about to die.

And yes, you heard right. I saw a man kissing me.

Which is weird…I've never been attracted to men in my life. I've always dug chicks—I don't know what changed. Though I don't think it's a big deal to be attracted to both men and women. I was raised to believe that love is love, even if two people are the same gender.

The first time I saw the person's hair in my dream, I knew instantly who I was dreaming of.

Only Marluxia DeFlorio had pink hair.

I didn't know Marluxia all that well. He, like Larxene and me, was also in the Honors College at Radiant Garden University. Other than that, I only knew that he was a sophomore Biomedical Engineering major, and that his dorm was down the hallway from mine.

I'll admit it: I was curious as to why I was having these dreams of kissing Marluxia. And curiosity says I get to know Marluxia a bit better to see what these dreams are all about.

Who knows? It could just be a passing crush. It could be something more. But as a Psychology major, I couldn't ignore these things.

* * *

Despite constant warnings that college would be a turning point in my life, I really thought it wouldn't be much different than high school. Sure, I figured the classes would be tougher, and we'd have to rely more on ourselves to make decisions, but I never guessed that the newfound freedom derived from living away from home would completely change the situation.

Some people go crazy as soon as they move in. They realize that there are no parents to reprimand or yell at them if they doing anything wrong. Their new motto becomes, "What my parents don't know won't hurt them." They mistakenly believe that they are not accountable for their actions and that there are no consequences.

Others will cling to their high school selves for a period of time. They maintain the mentality that they will get in trouble with an authority figure if they step out of line. Many will loosen up after a while when they see others getting away with all kinds of things.

The thing is about college…for better or worse, _everyone_ changes.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

First chapter short…after this point they'll probably be longer…

**First Person Perspective: **This will only occur for the prologue—I expect the rest of the story will be in the third person perspective. You should be able to figure out who the person speaking in this chapter is by next chapter.

**Pairings Note:** The INITIAL pairings will be different than the pairings I have listed. This story will focus MUCH more on the romance than _Spring Nicht_. I still have a plot in mind, but it's much less overwhelming than the one in _Spring Nicht_.

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**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	2. Part II

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part II

* * *

Radiant Garden University was the most renowned public university in the state of Radiant Garden. In fact, it was most of the more reputable institutions in the country of Kingdom Hearts.

Roxas and Naminé Figaro were starting their first year at RGU, along with their cousins, Sora and Kairi Figaro. Sora's best friend, Riku Wattan, was also beginning college at RGU. They had all been accepted into RGU's Honors College, a prestigious organization for only top students.

Leon, Sora and Kairi's older brother, was also a member of the Honors College—he was an RA in the Honors College residence hall, Ansem College, named in honor of the founder of the university.

"Riku, aren't you excited about starting college?" Sora asked. "It's going to be so much fun dorming together!"

Riku pushed a strand of silver hair out of his face and smiled at the brunet sitting next to him in the car. Roxas always thought that Riku had a limited capacity for smiles, but Riku never seemed to run out of them when Sora was around.

Roxas now wished that he had let Kairi take his spot in the vehicle. Before they went off to college, the Figaro family decided to have a get-together before sending their kids away. Riku had been invited, of course, since he was considered family at the Figaro household.

Leon drove the car that Roxas, Sora, and Riku were in. Kairi had begged to be in a car with Sora and Riku, but Sora had wanted Roxas to be in his car instead—something about an all-boys car.

Yuna, Sora and Kairi's mother, drove the other vehicle with Kairi and Naminé. The two cousins would also be roommates in Ansem.

Roxas was nervous about meeting his roommate. What if they didn't like each other? It seemed weird to have to live with a complete stranger—and even worse to share a room with someone who could potentially hate his guts.

"Leon, you're pot lucking, aren't you?" Roxas asked his older cousin.

"Yeah," Leon replied. "But I asked for a transfer student in my year." He smirked. "Since I'm an RA, I get to be picky."

"What happens if I don't get along with my roommate?"

"You work it out," Leon responded shortly. "You're an adult now, and they expect you to solve your problems like an adult."

Roxas wasn't sure if he was being driven off to his greatest adventure…or his doom.

* * *

"Home sweet home!" Sora exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. The room was empty, with the exception of two beds and two desks. Leon and Roxas helped Sora and Riku carry their belongings to their room. Once Sora and Riku were settled in, Leon pointed to the room down the hall.

"That's my room," he said. "If you need anything, I'm not too far away."

Sora and Riku almost always got along—they made a great team in solving any problem that came their way. It was doubtful that they'd need to bother Leon, but it was reassuring to have Sora's older brother just down the hall.

Roxas' room was located in a different hallway within Ansem. When Roxas and Leon entered the room, there was a blonde boy with a mullet dancing in the middle of the room with his headphones on, playing an air guitar. He didn't seem to notice that there were two new presences in the room. His eyes were closed—he was totally lost in the music.

Roxas and Leon stood there for about a minute, amused by the display from the boy who was presumed to be Roxas' roommate.

When the boy opened his eyes, they widened at the sight of his two-man audience. A scarlet blush crept up his neck and darkened his cheeks. He pulled his headphones off.

"Uh…hi. I'm Demyx," he greeted them, looking abashed.

"I'm Roxas. Nice dance moves you've got there, Demyx."

Roxas didn't think it was possible, but Demyx's cheeks got redder. "Thanks."

"Let's go get the rest of your stuff, Roxas," Leon suggested, "then you can _bond_ with your roommate."

"I'll help!" Demyx chirped.

"Uh…thanks," Roxas said uncertainly. His roommate…though a bit strange, he didn't seem so bad.

After Roxas' possessions had made it to the room, Leon stopped at the doorway before leaving.

"Your RA is Reno. He's a couple rooms to the right when you walk out. He's pretty laid-back, but he might get upset if he finds out you're having a babe party and didn't invite him."

"A 'babe party'?" Roxas questioned.

Leon, apparently, didn't feel the need to enlighten him. He gave a salute of farewell. "Later."

* * *

"So…which bed do you want?" Sora asked.

Riku shrugged. "I don't care. You pick."

Sora jumped on the one to the left. "This one!" He bounced on it a few times. "Yup! It has just the right spring constant!"

Riku shook his head and snorted. "Dork."

"Hey! I can't be called a dork anymore when we're surrounded by smart people!"

"That makes absolutely no sense."

"Yes it does!" Sora insisted. "It's all relative…like Einstein's theory of relativity!"

"You're still a dork," Riku said with a grin. "Just because you're surrounded by dorkier people doesn't change what you are."

"Aha! So that means _you're_ a dork, too!"

"Except I'm cool. That cancels out my dorkiness."

Sora leapt off the bed to stand next to Riku. He started poking his friend in the stomach. "Nuh-uh! You still admitted that I'm surrounded by dorks, which means you are included in the group of dorks!"

Suddenly, Riku picked up the brunet poking him and threw him on the bed. He straddled Sora's hips to prevent him from moving and began tickling him.

"Ri-ku! Stoooooop!" he squealed.

Riku kept going. This was normal for them.

"Rikuuuu! I'm gonna pee my pants if you don't stoooooop!"

And that was Riku's cue to cease the tickling. Sora wasn't lying when he said that—he found out the hard way.

Riku placed a kiss on Sora's forehead before dismounting him. This wasn't unusual. It was a kiss from a friend to a friend.

Though if Riku was completely honest, he didn't kiss any of his other friends, not even Kairi. Then again, he rationalized, Kairi might take it the wrong way. He and Sora had been best friends since they were little—even sooner than Kairi, since they had both been boys—and that made it all okay.

* * *

"Hey, Zex, I'll be back in a bit," the redhead called over his shoulder. "Do you need help rearranging anything before I go?"

Zexion shook his head. "No, Axel. I think this layout will work."

Zexion and Axel were an RA's worst nightmare—they were known for moving around furniture in their room to the point that it was nearly unrecognizable from its original layout. But who could blame them? They only wanted to maximize their space and utility of the room.

Axel walked down the hallway. Even though it was common etiquette to _not_ look in the open doorways as he passed, Axel simply couldn't help himself. He wanted to check out the new freshmen.

The room across the hallway had a brunet and a silver-haired boy. The latter was straddling the former on the bed. Axel's gay-dar was _so_ going off at that sight.

The other doors were closed, to Axel's dismay. When he reached the end of the hallway near the RA's room, he knocked on the door across from it.

A pink-haired man opened the door, gazing at Axel evenly with deep blue eyes. "Axel."

"Hey Marly. How's life being in a single?"

Marluxia scowled. "Quiet—until you came along."

"We should hang out soon. We haven't hung out since Intro to Psych ended."

"We didn't hang out when Intro to Psych was in session," he retorted.

Axel sighed. "Look, I know we didn't talk much last year, but it's a brand new year. Let's just start over. Whatever preconceived notions we have of each other…let's forget them."

"Maybe the 'preconceived notions' are there for a reason."

"You know…I learned in my Psychology classes that our judgments about people we don't know are usually wrong…because we don't know about how certain behaviors are affected by the situation and context of that person's life."

"That's such a typical Psychology-major response," Marluxia snorted. "You claim to know the mind, but there's no hard evidence to prove your statements."

"We don't claim to know everything…at least when we don't know something, we're not afraid to admit it. But you're wrong—there are many subfields of Psychology that are based on statistics and empirically-tested data. Perhaps I could explain it to you over lunch tomorrow?"

Marluxia raised an eyebrow. "Are you asking me on a date? I'm not gay."

Axel grinned easily. "Not at all. I have a girlfriend—Larxene Barak. She's also in the Honors College."

Marluxia propped his hand on his hip. "Fine. I suppose I have to eat sometime."

"All righty. See you at noon tomorrow, Marly." Axel winked at the man in the doorway, and then he was off.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

Let the mind games begin! Mwahaha.

Wow, I had sooo much fun writing dorky! Sora.

**Figaro family:** Roxas and Naminé are twins. Sora and Kairi are twins (Leon is their older brother). Roxas/Naminé's father and Sora/Kairi's father are twin brothers—Sabin and Edgar Figaro form FFVI! Hehe. Based on their wiki descriptions, I didn't think Edgar in particular was a great example of a parent, but I liked the fact that they were twins, which would explain the likelihood of two sets of twins occurring, and would also explain why Sora/Roxas and Kairi/Naminé look so much alike.

**Majors:** There are reasons I chose a particular major for each character. It'll take too much space to go into it here. Let me know if you want to know—then I'll post up a detailed report in the FAQ section of my website. On a different note, it is unfortunate that Psychology is looked down upon by some of the 'hard' science majors, even though there are subfields of psychology that are just as scientific as say, physics or chemistry.

**

* * *

****PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	3. Part III

Still not super long chapter…but getting longer!

This fic is rate M by the way…for mature themes, alcohol use, coarse language, etc…

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

Part III

* * *

"Let's visit Sora and Riku!" Kairi suggested. She and Naminé were in the middle of putting away their belongings.

"Maybe we should finish unpacking first," Naminé responded kindly. "We have orientation tomorrow and classes start the next day."

"Well, I'd bet on it that my lazy twin has somehow convinced Riku to waste time doing _anything_ but that," Kairi said. "We should probably check on them to make sure _they've_ started unpacking."

"Wouldn't that be hypocritical if we haven't finished unpacking ourselves?"

"But at least we've _started_. I'm sure they haven't."

"Kairi…Riku doesn't like you that way."

Kairi crossed her arms. "Why would I care about that?"

Naminé closed the desk drawer after putting away her writing utensils. She faced Kairi. "Because you do like him that way."

The auburn-haired girl panicked. Naminé _knew_? Were Kairi's feelings that obvious? What if Sora knew? What if _Riku_ knew? "Please don't tell anyone!" she pleaded.

"I won't."

Kairi visibly relaxed. "Good. So how do you know he doesn't like me?"

Naminé smiled. "Just watch him."

Kairi sighed. She loved her cousin, but she was so _confusing_! She'd always say stuff like she knew something that other people didn't know, but upon inquiry she would rarely give a straight answer.

"If he doesn't like me…then I'll get him to like me. Well, at least I'll try," Kairi stated resolutely. "I can't give up on him before I've at least tried to get him!"

Naminé looked Kairi in the eyes. "Kairi, I think it's great that you're willing to try going after him…but I wouldn't be a good cousin or friend if I didn't tell you that the chances of him changing his mind are very slim. I won't say the chances are zero because there's always a small possibility that things might change…I just don't want to see you get hurt if he rejects you."

Kairi smiled. "Thank you for your concern. I'm lucky that you're my cousin Naminé," she said sincerely. "But as long as there's even the slightest chance I can succeed, I will take that chance. I want to know that I tried my hardest before I give up."

* * *

"Do you like music, Roxas?" Demyx asked.

Roxas raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't everybody like some form of music?"

Demyx looked thoughtful. "Huh. Maybe."

Roxas went back to typing out his schedule on his laptop. He pulled up a map of the RGU campus on the Internet to print out and mark where his classes were.

"Hey! You never answer my question."

"Sorry," Roxas apologized. "I like rock. How about you?"

Demyx grinned. "I like everything! Rock, pop, classical, jazz, rap, country—you name it! I think each genre brings something different and valuable to the world of music."

Roxas remained silent. He was listening, but multitasking. He didn't mind if his roommate wanted to talk to him while he did his organizational work, but he couldn't really be expected to carry on a conversation.

"What major are you?" Demyx inquired.

"Business Management. You?"

"Music! Well, that and Music Education. I really want to perform, but I want to get my teaching certification so I have something else to fall back on. I think it would be really cool to teach music, though—I could be happy doing that." Demyx's sea-green eyes glittered as he spoke. "What made you choose Business Management? It doesn't sound like fun to have to dress up in a stuffy suit every day and order people around."

Roxas shrugged. "I dunno. Seems fun to me, I guess."

Demyx was silent for a minute. Roxas took that precious time to finish highlight the locations of his classes on the map.

"Oh! Roxas, there's a party tonight in D2. You wanna go?"

Roxas scrunched his nose. "D2?"

"Wing D, floor 2," Demyx explained. "There's only two wings in this building—D and L. We're in L."

Roxas frowned. "I don't think so. I'm not much of a party person." Then it suddenly hit him. "Wait. That's Leon's floor."

"Leon? Isn't that the guy who helped you move in?"

"Yeah," Roxas answered. "He's my cousin—he's an RA on that floor."

"Your cousin must be cool to let people on his floor have parties."

Roxas shrugged. "I don't think he really cares, as long as no one is too loud or does anything stupid."

"We should totally go! C'mon, Roxas—this is how you break into the night life of RGU!"

"Like I said, I'm not a party person."

"It won't kill you to go to _one_ party," Demyx pointed out.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Fine, I'll go. But leave me alone a little while—I still have work to do if I'm going to socialize tonight."

Demyx grinned. "Will do. See you later, Roxas!" He bounced out of the room.

* * *

Marluxia didn't know what he'd been expecting when he opened his door, but it sure as _hell_ wasn't Axel Atish clad in burgundy skinny jeans and a fitted black T-shirt…and actually looking sexy. Marluxia couldn't help but smirk at the redhead.

"Could your outfit be any gayer?" Marluxia asked surreptitiously.

"Could your hair be any gayer?" Axel retorted.

Marluxia wasn't going to just roll over and take it. "It brings out the color of my eyes. Just because your hair and eyes are so opposite in color they clash—"

"They're _complimentary_ colors. That means that my hair _complements_ my eyes, thereby intensifying and brightening the appearance of my eyes—"

"Did you learn that in one of your little Psychology classes?" Marluxia sneered.

"Actually, I learned that in seventh grade art class. I guess you weren't such a good boy back then—something must've changed in high school, or you wouldn't be here." Sometimes, Axel just didn't know when to stop. "Though if I had to guess, your ignorance indicates that you're either the son of a rich man or the son of someone powerful in this school."

Marluxia's eyes narrowed. In a single movement, he grabbed Axel by the shirt collar, pulled him into his room, and slammed the door shut. He pushed Axel against the closed door. Their faces were separated by mere centimeters. When Marluxia spoke, Axel could feel the other's hot breath against his face.

"I got into this program based on my academic character and credentials; don't you dare suggest otherwise."

Axel smirked. "You know, Marluxia, you don't have to act so angry just to have an excuse to invade my personal space."

"_What did you just say?_"

Axel continued that cocky grin—the one Marluxia wanted nothing more than to wipe off of his pretty face. "Unfortunately, Marluxia, your little stunt you just pulled right now gave me a good look in your eyes—which are _way_ dilated, by the way. And not to mention the fact that your reactions to everything I say are so extreme. Were you even trying to hide it at all?"

Marluxia shoved him against the door even harder. "Don't psychoanalyze me," he spat. "Besides, _you're_ the one who initiated this contact."

"Bingo. Like I said before, you don't have to act pissed off just to get close to me."

"Wait a minute." Marluxia clenched the redhead's shoulder, almost painfully. "Two things: one, I thought you were straight. Two: don't you have a girlfriend?"

Axel snickered. "Never said I was straight. I just said I had a girlfriend—you jumped to your own conclusions."

"Wouldn't that be cheating?"

"We're in an open relationship," Axel replied easily. "And _I'm_ open to some experimentation."

"Good to know," Marluxia responded. As strong as his desire was to push the physical boundaries of their relationship further, he refused to give in to Axel just yet. He wanted to know more about him…maybe it would explain the strange dreams he'd been having of late. "What do you want, anyway? I thought our lunch _date _was tomorrow."

"There's a party tonight on our floor. Do you wanna hang out?"

"Won't your girlfriend be here?"

"Nope. She has an early start tomorrow because she's helping out with freshman orientation tomorrow. And by 'helping out,' I mean she's doing it because it will get her brownie points with the Theatre Arts department director, who makes the final cut for play tryouts every semester."

"When does the party start?"

"A half hour."

"Guess I'd better get ready, then."

Marluxia and Axel were still so close together that their breaths mingled. Axel's smelled like cinnamon toothpaste. Axel grabbed Marluxia's hips and pushed him away. Marluxia felt his skin burn at the contact. The contact was brief—too brief, in his opinion—but he needed to get himself ready for tonight.

When Axel left the room, Marluxia's smirk widened.

* * *

"Roxas!" Demyx cried. "The party has started already!"

"I'm ready," Roxas mumbled.

Demyx didn't look pleased. "You're going in _that_?"

Roxas looked down at his outfit self-consciously. He was wearing khaki pants and black t-shirt—the same as earlier. "What's wrong with it?"

"''What's _wrong_ with it'?" Demyx repeated disbelievingly. "You have such pretty eyes, Roxas…don't dull them with that yucky wardrobe!" He started going through Roxas' closet. "Take your pants off."

"What?" Roxas squeaked. He berated himself for allowing his voice to show his discomfort.

"Here—put these on." Demyx handed him a pair of blue jeans. "Blue jeans go with almost anything, and the dark navy works well for night attire. And wear _this_ shirt." Demyx pulled out a black t-shirt.

"Wait, that doesn't fit me anymore," Roxas said. "I don't even know why I packed it…"

"It looks like it fits just fine! Try it on."

Roxas turned to face the corner of the room as he changed. Thankfully, it seemed that Demyx respected his privacy and didn't watch him change.

"See? Too tight."

"Are you crazy?" Demyx exclaimed. "It's perfect! All the girls will drool over it." He tilted his head thoughtfully. "Wait, are you even into girls? If not, the guys will drool. Heck, the guys will drool more than the girls. Do girls even drool? I've never actually seen one drool."

Roxas squirmed uncomfortably in his outfit.

"To the party!" Demyx announced, dragging a disgruntled Roxas along.

* * *

"Riku, can you believe it? It's our official first-ever college party!" Sora announced happily, a grin plastered on his face.

"Just stay away from the booze, Sora," Riku told him. "And don't drink anything out of a bowl."

Sora laughed. "Why would I drink anything out of a bowl? That seems kind of silly. Aren't you supposed to use cups for drinks?"

Riku sighed. "I'm not leaving your side tonight…I worry about you, Sora…"

"Don't worry—have fun! Be happy!" Sora used his thumbs to pull the corners of Riku's mouth into a smile. When his hands were removed, the smile remained.

"Okay."

"Let's go!" Sora grabbed Riku's hand to go outside their room.

The hallway was crowded with people. Some of them were inside open rooms. A couple of rooms were set up with beer pong, one room had contained people playing Flip Cup, and one was set up with a game of Kings.

"Hey Sora!"

Leon walked over to Sora and Riku with his arm wrapped around a tall, pretty brunette.

"Sora, this is my girlfriend, Rinoa Heartilly. Rinoa, this is my brother Sora and his friend Riku."

Rinoa smiled at them. "Nice to meet you."

"See you around. Riku, make sure my brother doesn't go anywhere near booze."

* * *

Marluxia found Axel in the beer pong room. Axel was teamed up with Zexion, playing against Reno and his roommate, Rude.

It was a close game—each side was down to three cups. Reno and Rude, however, were playing on a three-game winning streak. They won, as expected—the two were known for being nearly undefeatable in beer pong.

"Hey Marly—are you any better at beer pong than Zexion?" Axel asked, his eyes challenging.

"My skills are at least mediocre," Marluxia responded nonchalantly.

"I'm putting our name down on the list. There's three groups ahead of us."

Once Axel had secured their position in line, Marluxia followed the redhead to another room.

"Yuffie, Paine, Rikku, Leon, and Rinoa want to start a new game of Kings. Want to join?"

Marluxia nodded. Each player was given a can of beer. Yuffie drew a card from the pile first.

"Five!" she announced. "Go on guys, drink!"

The rules of Kings were pretty simple, but could get confusing for beginners because there was so much to remember. Each card value had a different meaning. In the case of a five, all of the male participants had to take a sip from their drink.

Leon was next. He drew a jack.

Jack was the 'Never Have I Ever…" card. The drawer would make a statement of something he had never done—and anyone who had done it would have to drink.

"Never have I ever…" Leon began, pausing for a moment, "…kissed a male."

The four girls each took a gulp of the beer. "I resent that!" Rikku said. "You were totally targeting girls with that!"

Leon shrugged. "When you draw a queen, you can target guys."

Rinoa drew next. "I drew an eight. Leon, be my mate."

From that point on, if Rinoa drank, Leon would also have to drink under the 'mate' rule.

Paine drew a three. Three stood for 'me,' which meant she had to drink.

Rikku picked up a king. "Yes!" she cried. "I get to make up a rule. And I'll go with…THE LITTLE MAN RULE!"

Clearly…Rikku was already tipsy.

"Please excuse her," Paine stated coolly. "She downed three shmitties before the party even started."

The 'Little Man Rule' was one of the infamous and commonly used 'rules' when someone drew a king. Every time a person took a drink, they had to pretend to remove the 'little man' sitting on top of their drink. It was as annoying as it was absurd, but it earned many Kings players extra drinks because people almost always forgot it.

Axel was next; he drew a jack—the categories card.

"The category I choose…body parts only found in males," he said with a smirk. "Penis." Each person after him would have to say something from that category until someone was unable to—and that person would drink.

"Testicles," Marluxia stated.

"Glans penis," Yuffie added proudly.

"What the fuck is that?" Axel asked.

"It's the tip of the penis," Yuffie replied. "You should know—you're a guy!"

"Prostate," Leon added.

"Scrotum?" Rinoa said, sounding more like she was asking a question.

Paine. "Seminal vesicles."

Rikku frowned. "Uh…uh…ANUS!"

"Girls have an anus, too, Rikku," Yuffie reminded her. "How the hell did you pass that anatomy class we took last semester?"

"But…BUTTSEX!"

Paine shook her head. "I think we need to go now," she stated. "She's had a bit too much…the joys of being a lightweight."

Paine hoisted Rikku to her feet and led her out of the room.

"By the way, Rikku," Yuffie called after her. "Girls can have buttsex too!"

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**Kairi: **Kairi likes Riku? And so the plot thickens… I'm not a Kairi basher/hater. She's not my favorite character, but at least she's not an evil bitch like DiZ is. (I really hate DiZ, so excuse the random rants about him. I don't think he'll appear in this story, but who knows?) Since Sora is her brother (no twincest/incest in this story, folks!), I don't think it's a far stretch for her to have a crush on Riku. I think it's already clear that Riku has no romantic interest in her, so it will remain one-sided (and that's not to say that she'll remain crushing on an unattainable boy forever ;) ).

**Naminé:** As sensitive and sweet as she is, she can also be a bit tactless on occasion. The whole "You were never supposed to exist" line in KHII is a good example. She tries to sound as nice as she can, even if the words aren't nice, per se.

**Homosexuality:** I personally have no issue with homosexuality/bisexuality or whatever (if I did, I probably would not have read/written so much shounen-ai and yaoi). As much as Axel and Marluxia make quips at each other about being gay, they don't have anything against it, either—but they're both alpha males that have to come to terms with being attracted to the same gender when they've always been attracted to the opposite gender in the past. They're living in a present-day alternate universe—so think of it like they're in a different version of our world—some people are totally okay with/support different sexualities, some people think it's weird but don't mind, and some people are against it…and everything in between. Right now, I'd say they're both in a bi-curious stage.

**Reno and Rude:** are from FFVII. They kick ass. 'Nuff said.

**Kings:** There are _tons_ of variations on the rules of this game…so I'm just going with the version I know, and I'll be sure to explain so those of you who haven't played/know different versions will understand.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	4. Part IV

I'm sorry guys, I lied last chapter…there's actually a good chance that DiZ will appear in this story. He'll be as hate-able as ever! 8D

**Warnings:** This fic is rated M. There are intimate lime-ish moments but NO lemon. (Later chapters, maybe…and the lemons will ONLY be posted on AFF to comply with FF's rules.)

There is an introduction of lyrics from the Tokio Hotel song, "Ich bin nich' ich" during this chapter. If you would like to read the version of this with the lyrics, please go to my AFF profile (check my profile on this site for links).

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part IV

* * *

Once the game of Kings had ended, Axel and Marluxia made their way back to the beer pong room. Reno and Rude were still reigning—though by the looks of the table, not for much longer. They were playing against Zexion and some blonde kid with a mullet.

Once Zexion sunk the last cup, Reno collapsed theatrically on one of the couches. "Seven…games…straight…" he moaned. Rude lifted Reno and threw him over his shoulder. The bald man strode calmly out of the room. He seemed to carry his roommate without breaking a sweat.

"Hi! I'm Demyx!" the mullet-haired boy greeted them enthusiastically. He pointed to Zexion. "This is Zexion; do you know him? Zexy here asked me to be his beer pong partner because no one else wanted to and my roommate Roxas didn't want to play because he doesn't drink. What are your names? Do you want to play against us?"

Axel blinked. This kid was sure an earful.

"'Zexy'?" he laughed. "Sure, I know _Zexy_…he's my roommate."

Zexion glared at Axel. "It's Zexi_on_," he enunciated.

"Good to meet you, Demyx. The name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

Demyx scratched his head nervously. "Gee…I might have to write this one down; my memory's not too good…" He reached for his back pocket and frowned. "I forgot my notebook again."

Marluxia nodded his head to acknowledge Demyx and also stated his name. "Marluxia."

It turned out that Demyx was a total newbie at beer pong. Add his inexperience at drinking to the mix—Axel and Marluxia owned their opponents.

Axel was bored. And when he was bored, he tried to find something to do—like corrupt freshmen and turn abstainers into drinkers. "So your roommate doesn't drink, Demyx?" Axel asked. "We'll have to fix that."

"Not happening." The voice came from behind Axel.

When Axel turned around, his eyes met a shocking blue.

Why…did those eyes look so familiar?

Axel shook his head. Maybe he'd had a bit too much to drink.

"Why not?" Axel challenged. "Scared?"

Roxas scowled. "I'd rather not get smashed and make a fool out of myself like _some_ people."

"Are you implying something, kid?" Who did he think he was? Was he calling Axel a _fool_?

"Perhaps."

Axel smirked. Oh, this kid was going to get it. Axel was going to enjoy this immensely. "Well…just because you're not a drinker doesn't mean you can't play a game of beer pong."

Roxas regarded him suspiciously. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You could always use a beer substitute."

"Like…?"

"Milk."

Roxas folded his arms. "I don't have any."

Axel grinned. "Well, lucky for you, Zex and I have a gallon for occasions like this. I'll be right back."

When Axel came back with the gallon of milk, he poured liberal portions in half of the cups on Roxas' side of the table.

"Can I be your partner, Roxas?" Demyx asked hopefully.

Before Roxas could answer, Axel interrupted. "I've got a better idea. Demyx, you can be on my team, while Marly is going to pair up with the kid."

"My name is Roxas," the petite blonde snapped. "Got it memorized?" His voice was scathing.

"Hey! You can't use my catch phrase!" That was it—this kid was going _down_.

"If it's not patented, then it doesn't belong to you," Roxas retorted.

While Roxas was speaking to him, Axel bounced a ball into a milk cup.

"That's not fair!" Roxas exclaimed. "We weren't ready for that!"

"Sorry, but the game started," Axel responded, not sounding sorry at all. Both Roxas and Marluxia drained their cups—a cup sunk on a bounce indicated that two cups must be emptied—but a ball that was bounced could also be blocked by the opposing team, unlike air shots.

Axel got to go again. He scored another cup, but on his third shot, he missed. Demyx managed to score one cup.

Marluxia was a decent player, but he couldn't carry his team. He'd played beer pong in the past, but nowhere near as much as Axel.

Demyx improved drastically that game; his alcohol content had reached a level that it actually improved his abilities. Roxas, on the other hand, didn't get any better—and you couldn't get much worse than him.

As a result, it was no surprise that Axel and Demyx won. Unfortunately for Marluxia and Roxas, they hadn't made it to the first rack.

Beer pong games started out with ten cups, but if a team didn't get their opponents down to first rack (six cups), they would have to do a naked lap. Those were the rules.

Axel snickered. "Looks like Marly and Roxy have to do a naked lap!"

Roxas visibly paled. "A _naked_ lap?"

"You have to take off all of your clothes and run around Ansem College naked," Axel explained gleefully.

Roxas sighed. "I'm not nearly drunk enough to do something like that."

"You would've been if you had played beer pong instead of milk pong," the redhead pointed out.

"I'm not running a naked lap," Roxas declared.

Marluxia smirked. He made eye contact with Axel. "I will."

Axel raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. "I'd like to see _that_." But what about Roxas? He couldn't let him off the hook so easily…

Bingo. The milk.

"Roxas…" Axel drawled. "If you don't want to do the naked lap, you can chug the rest of that milk."

The blonde eyed the container distastefully. There was at least three and a half quarts leftover. Roxas wasn't a huge fan of milk, but if it got him out of running around naked, he'd do it.

"Fine," he grumbled. He grabbed the bottle and brought it to his lips.

Chugging for Roxas was more like continuous drinking. He simply couldn't get all that liquid down his esophagus at a very fast pace. He'd seen some of the boys chug cans of beer in mere seconds. The near-gallon of milk took several minutes.

When Roxas was done, everyone in the room cheered for him.

Roxas felt sick.

And honestly, he wasn't sure which end it would come out.

Roxas bolted to the bathroom.

* * *

Axel was in Marluxia's bedroom. They were both fashionably tipsy—enough alcohol was in their system that their judgment and inhibitions were decreased, but sober enough that they wouldn't do anything _too_ stupid.

"So…when are you gonna do the naked lap?" Axel inquired slyly.

"Perhaps you could assist me with taking my clothes off," Marluxia replied.

Then Marluxia pressed his entire body against Axel's, their lips meeting assertively. Marluxia moved Axel backwards during their lip lock until the redhead's legs met the mattress, which he collapsed onto. Marluxia probed Axel's mouth, as if he were searching the answers to his questions within. Axel was unused to someone else taking control of this kiss—he was usually the one who dominated. Then again, he'd never kissed a male.

Marluxia was aggressive. His tongue went much deeper than Axel had ever dared to go into Larxene's mouth—or any girl's mouth, for that matter. Was he supposed to accept this because he was a guy?

Marluxia had managed to nudge a knee in between Axel's legs. He barely noticed—his brain, clouded by the alcohol, simply told him that he was turned on, and that nothing mattered as long as he felt good.

The full moon shined in the room, illuminating Marluxia's figure. The shirts came off. The making out became heavier at this point. Marluxia's hands were down Axel's pants, groping his ass cheeks while Axel's hand twisted through silky, pink hair.

Marluxia shifted to the side to unbutton Axel's pants, not breaking the kiss. He wriggled down the waistband to reveal the redhead's black underwear. Marluxia cupped his hand over Axel's erection and squeezed gently, drawing a muffled moan from the man beneath him.

Axel's hands too went to work on Marluxia's pants. Once they had both discarded their main clothing, clad in nothing but their underwear, Marluxia grinded his hips against Axel. They both groaned at the contact of the bulges between their legs. Marluxia snaked a hand beneath Axel's underwear and grabbed his cock.

Axel's eyes shot open, meeting Marluxia's for the first time since they'd first entered the room.

Those eyes…

Axel realized—

_Those weren't the right eyes!_

* * *

"Roxas," Demyx called out, knocking on the bathroom stall door, "are you okay?"

"Demyx," Roxas stated, his voice low, "do you mind giving me some privacy? I don't feel so well."

"Oh! Okay." The door to the bathroom clicked shut.

Milk did not agree with Roxas, especially in such large quantities. He felt like someone had taken a fire hose and blasted it through his bowels.

Roxas didn't want to admit it, but he didn't think he could go more than a few minutes without emptying his bowels.

When Roxas finally managed to get himself out of the bathroom, Demyx was back in the beer pong room chatting with Zexion. He shot up out of his seat when he saw Roxas.

"Hey, Roxas! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he grunted. "I'm gonna go back to the room and sleep."

"Okay! I'll see you later Roxas."

While Roxas got ready for bed that night, he had to take two more bathroom trips before going to sleep. From that point on, he had to get up every hour or two to use the restroom again. Luckily, as the night went on, the bathroom trips became less frequent.

Axel…he knew that this would happen, didn't he?

_Curse you, Axel_.

* * *

"Oooo, look, Riku!" Sora cried, pointing into one of the rooms. "That game looks fun! The one with the cups and the ping pong ball!"

"It's called _beer_ pong, Sora, and we're not playing it," Riku replied adamantly. "If there's alcohol involved, it's a no."

"C'mon, Rikuuuu; one game can't hurt!"

"No. First of all, your brother would kill me. Second of all, I don't want to have to take care of you when you're wasted." Although Riku very much liked the idea of taking care of Sora when he was delirious and vulnerable…Leon was a scary guy when he got mad.

"I'm not gonna get wasted from one drink!" Sora argued.

"You're not big enough to hold your alcohol. If you're below sixty-five inches, you'll get drunk even after one drink."

"What?!" Sora exclaimed. "But I'm only a half-inch off…c'mon, Riku…that's not fair…"

"Let's go back to our room, Sora," Riku suggested. "The only games they have here are drinking games, and we're not playing those."

"Why don't you play? _You're_ tall enough."

"I don't want to." He cracked a grin. "Besides, who else is going to protect you from crazy drunkards?"

Sora's face fell. "You know, Riku…you don't have to not do things you want to do just because you want to protect me. I can take care of myself. I don't want to be a burden."

Riku gripped his friend's shoulders firmly. "Sora, you will _never_ be a burden to me. I choose not to drink because I _want_ to abstain."

Sora smiled. "Okay. I'm glad."

_I will _always_ be by your side, Sora—no matter what_.

* * *

"What major are you, Zexion?" Demyx inquired.

"Psychology," Zexion replied shortly. "I'm also doing Pre-Med."

"A doctor?" Demyx sounded impressed.

"I want to go into Psychiatry."

"Wow. You're going to have to go through an awful lot of school."

"It's worth it."

Demyx hummed thoughtfully. "Why Psychiatry?"

Zexion was a bit taken aback by the question—no one had ever really asked him that before. Medical school was always something that had been _expected_ of someone like him—someone with a high intellect and great aptitude for science.

"I like getting in people's heads," Zexion responded smoothly. "If I can do that, I can figure out what's wrong with them. I enjoy science, and a degree in Psychiatry would enable me to prescribe medication that would help them."

"Where do you want to go to medical school?" Demyx asked.

"RGU has a reputable medical school—it's the best there is for its cost."

"You think you could stand being here for twelve years straight?"

Zexion shrugged. "I will if I have to."

Before Demyx could ask another question, Zexion decided to put out his own. He didn't know anything about the other, but somehow Demyx had managed to learn more about Zexion in five minutes than most people knew about Zexion after knowing him for years. "What about you? What's your major?"

"Music and Music Education!" Demyx said proudly. "I love music."

"Why the double major?"

"My dream is to perform. I'm a singer, pianist, and guitarist. I also play a lesser-known instrument known as a sitar. It's a chordophone—quite similar to a guitar," Demyx explained. "But if I don't make it in the music biz, I'd like to have something else to do. I would have just as much fun teaching others to create music as I would making music myself."

They sat in a companionable silence. They watched Yuffie and Selphie duke it out against Leon and Rinoa in beer pong. Yuffie held her alcohol surprisingly well; unfortunately, the same couldn't be said about Selphie.

"Hey Zexy…what kinds of things do you do in your spare time?"

Zexion didn't have the heart to correct the boy sitting next to him. "There are parties every week in Ansem…usually on this floor. I generally show my face to play a couple rounds of beer pong and then go back to my room to read."

"What changed this time?"

_Someone actually took the time to have a conversation with me_. "I thought I'd observe the new freshmen. There's a lot one can learn by watching people."

"Good point. So you like reading, too? What kinds of books do you read?"

"Various genres. I like being well-rounded with knowledge of both the classics and contemporary literature."

The concept of having a conversation with someone besides Axel was almost foreign to Zexion. In the past, he'd interacted with his teachers more than his fellow peers.

Maybe…he and Demyx could be friends.

* * *

"Stop."

Marluxia froze. His eyes narrowed. "Is there a problem, Axel?"

Yes…there was a problem—except Axel didn't _know_ what it was.

He thought his dreams had been about Marluxia. He was _sure_ that he had been kissing Marluxia in his dreams.

But why did this feel so _wrong_?

"I'm gonna go," Axel stated, avoiding the question. "I'll see you tomorrow, Marluxia."

Marluxia shifted off of Axel so that the redhead could re-dress himself. "Forget about it. This was a mistake."

Axel felt horrible. He knew he shouldn't—it was just a small mistake, wasn't it? It didn't stop him from feeling like the biggest dick in the world…like he should've known better.

The feelings he felt…they were almost overwhelming—considering the situation. He felt like—

"I'm sorry, Marluxia."

He wasn't sure where those words came from. Sure, he supposed an apology was in order…but he didn't think he was apologizing for what had just happened. Somehow, he felt he was apologizing for something he'd done long ago, perhaps in another life.

"It wasn't your fault, Axel."

It sounded crazy—

But somehow, Marluxia knew exactly what he was talking about.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**NEVER PLAY MILK PONG!** Seriously—You. Will. Get. Sick. If you want a beer substitute, I recommend juice—but don't overdo that, either, because that can also make you sick/cause other problems (especially if it's orange juice…too much citric acid equals bad).

The funny thing about beer pong is that some people get a lot better the more drunk they get, but after a point, their drunkenness will impede on their performance. My friend likes to call it the 'beer pong bell curve.'

**Axel and Marluxia:** The scenes between them probably make very little to no sense if you haven't read _Spring Nicht_. If you have read it, it should make some sense…if you're still confused, feel free to ask questions. If a lot of people are still confused, I may put some flashback sequences. I still recommend you read _Spring Nicht_ if you haven't.

**Axel and Roxas: **Wow, they're not off to the best start. How will that relationship evolve?

At least Zexion and Demyx seem to be getting along! xD

* * *

**I wrote up explanations on the majors of a bunch of the main characters! Check it out!**

**http : / / lightningsage . webs . com / faqichbinnichich . htm**

**(there's also a link on my profile page)**

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	5. Part V

Thank you all so much for your reviews of support, encouragement, ideas, and comments so far! You guys make me almost cry tears of joy…it's so great to hear from you!

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part V

* * *

Riku awoke the next morning to the sound of someone knocking on the door of his dorm room. Sora was still dead to the world. Riku opened the door to reveal Kairi, with Naminé in her wake.

"It figures my lazy twin wouldn't be up yet," Kairi sighed. She walked to Sora's bed to shake him awake. "Freshman orientation starts in a half hour!"

"Leave me alone, Kairi," Sora whined. "It only takes me ten minutes to get ready."

"Sora, you have to share the bathroom with other boys, so it's going to take longer. Plus, we have to walk over to the stadium, which takes fifteen minutes."

It was a hassle, but Kairi managed to drag her twin out of bed. In the meantime, Riku got changed in the bathroom. When he re-emerged, Kairi smiled flirtatiously at him.

"You look great, Riku!" she told him.

Riku glanced down at his outfit. His expression didn't show it, but the action conveyed his bewilderment. "…Thanks." He was wearing blue pants, a black tank top, and his yellow vest—usual attire.

By the time Sora was set to go, they only had ten minutes until orientation began.

They ran.

* * *

Axel was _really_ glad he got to sleep in. He had a pounding headache when he woke up.

Zexion was already up and about, as expected. Axel would have liked to have been up earlier himself, but when he was hung over like this, he was lucky to wake up before noon.

He got up to make his morning trip to the bathroom. He spotted a familiar blonde down the hall. He took a detour from the restroom and approached the kid who was knocking on the RA's room.

"What brings you to D2's RA, kid?" Axel asked.

"My name is Roxas," the blonde growled. "I'm not even that much younger than you. Why can't you remember my name?"

Axel ignored his question. "You don't even live on this floor, do you? Go bug your own RA."

"Hung over Reno is useless to me." He lifted his fist to knock on the door again.

"Wait," Axel commanded, catching Roxas' wrist. Bright blue eyes narrowed, glowering at him. "Leon's probably with his girlfriend, and he'll probably be pissed if you make him get out of his nice, cozy bed with a hot chick in it."

Roxas jerked his hand away. "Whatever." He walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. Axel followed. Roxas entered a stall and locked it. Axel made a stop at the urinal.

"You know, if you're trying to avoid me, it's not working, kid."

"It's rude to talk to strangers while you're both excreting in the bathroom, firecrotch."

"Ah, but we _aren't_ strangers," Axel stated. "We're on a first-name basis, aren't we…Roxas?"

Axel had to admit, the kid had spunk. It was a refreshing change from Zexion, who could talk and manipulate people in circles. Roxas was straightforward.

There was a sound of a wet semi-solid dropping into a bowl of water.

"Something not agree with your stomach?" Axel snickered.

"You knew the milk would do this to me, didn't you? You bastard."

"Hey, I didn't know you'd be stupid enough to drink a gallon," the redhead said defensively. "Trust me when I say that you would've been better off playing a game of beer pong."

The toilet flushed. "Figures _you_ would say that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" came Axel's indignant response as he washed his hands.

Roxas opened the door and used the sink next to Axel. He made eye contact as he spoke. "You're a regular drinker, right? You don't know—or you've forgotten—what it's like to first start drinking. And if you had a high tolerance to begin with, you couldn't possibly understand what it means for someone like me to start drinking."

Axel immediately noticed that he rather enjoyed looking into Roxas' eyes. He didn't care if they were angry at him—as long as they were looking into his own. Roxas' eyes were…gorgeous.

But they were so _frigid_.

There was that saying that the eyes were the gateway to the soul…but eyes could express different emotions at different times. They reflected a different piece of a person's soul at each moment. And Axel wanted to see more pieces of Roxas. He wanted to see his eyes not only when they were angry, but when they were happy, when they were sad…he wanted to see those eyes when they were filled with lust…filled with love…

Axel pulled himself back into the conversation. "Psh, you can always build up your tolerance. Just start off slow. Or get hammered—and keep getting hammered until you don't feel it anymore."

Roxas snorted. "I'd rather be in control of myself, thanks."

Axel went to dry his hands. "Your loss."

When Roxas reached for the door, Axel stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Hey Roxas." The blonde turned around to meet his eyes. "I didn't meant to get you sick…it was nothing against you. Do you think we could start over?"

Roxas crossed his arms. "I missed freshman orientation because of you."

Axel grinned. "Well, in that case, I did you a favor. Orientation is a waste of time—and even though they say it's mandatory, it's really not."

Roxas' lip curled upwards…almost into a smile. Axel loved the way the blonde's blue eyes twinkled. It was…familiar.

"I'll see you around, Axel."

* * *

Marluxia truly thought that he must be going insane.

His dreams…were getting to him. But he wouldn't let himself crack.

What gave him the idea that they meant anything in the first place? Dreams were just dreams—a bunch of useless nonsensical brain static.

But something about them felt so _real_. They were less like dreams and more like _memories_.

He had kissed Axel. There was an attraction, yes, but no _spark_.

The recurring dream that never ceased to haunt him—

Axel's enraged flames, searing his body and burning him to ashes—

Axel's panicked eyes, begging for forgiveness—

Fading…fading to nothingness.

* * *

Roxas never really had romantic interest in anyone during high school. He knew his cousin Sora had chased after girls for a while, and most of his other friends had crushes at some point or another, but none of it ever appealed to Roxas. A couple of friends had teased Roxas that he was simply an in-the-closet homosexual, but he'd never had any interest in _either_ gender—both boys and girls.

So Roxas decided that he was asexual.

But since he'd gotten to college a mere twenty-four hours earlier, he'd started noticing…stuff. Like how Riku's hair looked so silky, soft…he yearned to touch it. Like how Demyx's lanky build combined with a stunning wardrobe was attractive…almost drool-worthy. Like how Axel green eyes were gorgeous…he could get lost in them forever.

There was something incredible about Axel that made Roxas want to know him more—he felt captivated, drawn like a moth to flame.

On his first day in college, Roxas decided that maybe he wasn't asexual.

* * *

The second part of orientation started mid-afternoon, and everyone was required to attend—at least if they hoped to get into the classes they wanted.

Honors College upper-classmen were expected to help out the freshmen with their scheduling. Most of the seniors and juniors, however, couldn't be bothered; as a result, the duty often fell on the shoulders of the sophomores. It was an unspoken rule of seniority.

Axel tried—he really tried to get to one of the computers and get his schedule done quickly so he could bail—but a stern Professor Xaldin caught him before he could find an empty one. Xaldin pushed Axel in the direction of a group of very confused-looking freshmen.

He spotted a familiar patch of blonde hair in the crowd and approached it.

"Hey, Roxas," Axel greeted him cheerfully. "You need help with your schedule?"

Roxas frowned. "Aren't the seniors supposed to help out?"

"Yes. But the seniors delegated responsibility to the juniors, and the juniors delegated responsibility to the sophomores. Being a sophomore sucks, as you'll find out next year, because you have to do all the crap the juniors and seniors don't feel like doing."

Roxas scowled. "Why should I trust _you_ to make my schedule?"

The redhead sighed. "Look, I said I was sorry about the milk pong. Besides, you'll be there every step of the way as we put together your schedule—it's not like I'm going to pull a fast one on you."

"Okay," the blonde agreed, shrugging.

They took a seat at a computer, with Axel sitting at Roxas' left. Axel leaned across Roxas to move the mouse; he was close enough that Roxas could smell the redhead's shampoo. He couldn't identify the smell, but it was a rather pleasant odor.

Axel pulled up two windows on the screen. In one, he typed his student identification number, and gestured for Roxas to do the same.

"So, Roxas…do you have a list of classes that you're interested in enrolling in for this semester?"

Roxas pulled out his list, which contained everything from the name of the class to the course number.

"The course number is the easiest way to enter a class," Axel explained. "Otherwise, you'd have to search each class by department…it's a pain in the ass. It's a good thing you wrote everything down."

Roxas gave a snort of indifference as he input the data from his sheet. "I like to be prepared."

"That's what he said."

"…What?"

Axel looked at him incredulously. "You've never heard 'that's what she said' jokes?" Roxas didn't look any less perplexed. "You seriously need to hang out with me more, Roxy. I'll get you acclimated."

Roxas felt a pang in his chest upon hearing Axel's nickname.

Why…did he feel so _sad_?

"My name…" he growled, his eyes narrowing impossibly further, "…is _Roxas_."

"Fine…_Roxas_." Axel grinned. "Looks like I'm going to be in three of your classes this semester."

"_What_?!"

"Business Psychology, Intro to Business, and Business Statistics," he rattled off. "I'm a Psychology major, so I need a stats class…I might as well take one with a friend in it. I also need a Psychology elective, and Business Psych fits the bill. Intro to Business fulfills a general education requirement."

"…Are you _trying_ to piss me off?"

Axel threw an arm around Roxas' shoulder. "I'm excited, Roxas. We should be study buddies."

Roxas threw the redhead's arm off of his body. "Stalker," he muttered as he began to walk away.

"C'mon, Roxy…don't be like that…"

Roxas felt an inexplicable anger surge through his body.

_"Come on, Roxas…don't be like that… We have to stick to the plan."_

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE PLAN?!" Roxas screamed, whipping around to face Axel.

Axel stopped dead in his tracks. He stared at the boy ahead of him in confusion. "…Roxas?"

A hand flew up to Roxas' mouth, his eyes filled with fear and astonishment over the words that had just left it.

What was wrong with him?

Roxas fled, not wanting to face his scared friends or Axel.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**Firecrotch: **I totally stole that from a deviantArt comic…I can't remember which off the top of my head…but if I find it again, I will mention it! (It's really funny!)

**Classes:** Many postsecondary schools have a 'general education curriculum,' or something similar, which means you have to fulfill a bunch of random requirements that don't necessarily have anything to do with your major—for the purpose of becoming a 'well-rounded student.' Also, a lot of curriculums will let you bend the rules with certain requirements—in the case of this school, Axel is allowed to take any statistic class for his major, but it doesn't have to be in the math department.

**Roxas:** And here we have evidence of male PMS, folks. Okay, maybe he's got an excuse—repressed anger from events in a past life? Questioning his own sexuality? Roxas has a pretty low tolerance for anger…he's the one who smashed up the Twilight Town simulation because he was pissed about everything going on.

* * *

**I wrote up explanations on the majors of a bunch of the main characters! Check it out!**

**http : / / lightningsage . webs . com / faqichbinnichich . htm**

**(there's also a link on my profile page)**

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	6. Part VI

Sorry guys…I had a bit of a writer's block this chapter…Luckily this writer's block only lasted a few days…writer's block for _Spring Nicht_ sometimes lasted for weeks, if not months.

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part VI

* * *

Roxas couldn't even begin to understand why he had screamed at Axel.

_"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE PLAN?!"_

What plan?

He had only met Axel just yesterday night, and already the redhead's presence was stirring up all kinds of emotions within Roxas. The feelings he had…they were so strong—none of it made any sense!

Why did he feel like he _knew_ Axel?

_It's just déjà vu_, he told himself. _It happens to everyone, and it doesn't mean anything_.

But how could Roxas explain his knowledge about Axel that defied all logic? He somehow knew that Axel could act like a jerk most of the time, but he was incredibly loyal to those he cared about. He somehow knew that Axel acted dumb, but in reality he was quite intelligent—in fact, Axel was the most cunning and manipulative member of the Organization…

Wait…

_Organization?!_

…Maybe college was getting to his head. Yeah. That was it—the stress was causing him to behave irrationally.

"Roxas?"

The blonde turned around.

Roxas was in the bathroom.

By himself.

With Axel.

"Roxas…" the redhead tried again. "What's going on?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Roxas retorted, exasperated. "Just…quit following me around. It's really annoying."

"The thing is…you don't really want me to stop following you, do you, Roxas?"

"You don't know me," Roxas snapped. "Commit it to memory."

Mawsitsit eyes widened. "What did you just say?"

Roxas rolled his eyes. "I said you don't know me."

"No, after that."

"'Commit it to memory'?"

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure we haven't met before?"

Roxas snorted. "I think I'd remember someone like you."

"Aww, are you saying I'm unforgettable, Roxy?" Axel snickered.

Roxas moved to the sink to wash his hands. They weren't particularly dirty…but they felt dirty. "Maybe we did meet…and we just forgot each other."

"Nah, I don't think I'd forget someone as cute as you."

Roxas cheeks flared up. Why did his body decide to disobey him now, of all times? It wasn't like he'd never been called 'cute' before. But why was he so flustered now?

"Look, now you're blushing," Axel said with a grin. "We should hang out for lunch tomorrow. When are you free?" Axel laughed. "Wait, why am I asking you? I know your schedule. We have our statistics class until eleven thirty-five. We should grab some food then. Sound good?"

"Well…" Roxas started, trying to come up with a fast excuse. "I was going to have lunch with my sister and cousins tomorrow."

"Great!" Axel clapped his hands together. "You should introduce me. The more, the merrier."

Roxas shook his head and sighed. It looked like…he wasn't going to escape Axel.

* * *

Leon's roommate hadn't shown up yet. He couldn't really complain; it gave him some extra alone time with Rinoa…

He was glad his relatives seemed to be settling in well so far. He knew Roxas, Naminé, and Kairi were all pretty independent, but he did worry about Sora sometimes. Then again, Sora had Riku to keep an eye on him. The last thing Leon needed was his little brother knocking on his door when he was in the middle of something with Rinoa.

Leon wouldn't admit it, but he was at least a little curious about his roommate. He knew that it was a third-year transfer student who made it into the Honors College, but other than that, he was a complete mystery. It was strange that he hadn't arrived to move in the same time everyone else did.

If the guy didn't show up for the next couple of weeks, maybe Leon would get to remain a single. The only reason he'd needed a roommate in the first place was because all of the RA rooms were doubles.

And he wasn't about to share a room with Seifer Almasy. Or Sephiroth, for that matter.

* * *

Roxas and Demyx were in their room later that night. Roxas was getting a jump start on his Business Statistics reading, and Demyx composing a song on his laptop.

A knock on the door interrupted Roxas' studies. He stood from his desk chair and turned the knob.

Naminé was standing there, clasping her hands together. "We missed you at Orientation earlier today, and I didn't get to talk to you at scheduling."

"I wasn't feeling well earlier," Roxas clarified. "And I got kidnapped almost immediately for scheduling."

Naminé giggled. "Oh." She squeezed her hands together. "You're feeling better now, though, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"I'm glad," she said, smiling at him. She crossed her legs, almost looking like she would teeter off balance—but Roxas knew she wouldn't. "Everyone's having lunch tomorrow at noon at the Student Commons. We decided on it after we put our schedules together. We would've told you sooner…but we figured you might need some time to yourself."

Roxas knew precisely what she was referring to—no one wanted to pursue Roxas after an episode like that.

"Can I come?"

The twins turned to face the voice inside the room. Demyx was staring at them with a hopeful and pleading expression.

Naminé quickly glanced at Roxas for approval. He shrugged at her. Naminé turned and smiled at Demyx. "Sure," she answered for Roxas.

Demyx positively beamed.

Roxas grabbed his dorm key and exited the room, closing the door behind him. Naminé matched his pace as they strode down the hallway.

"Axel's coming, too," he stated.

"The redhead?"

"Yeah."

Naminé pressed her lips together, a look of concern touching her face. "What happened between you two earlier?" she asked.

Roxas gazed determinedly ahead. "I don't know." He clenched his teeth. "I can't explain it."

"Try," she urged.

Roxas frowned. "He felt…familiar."

"Like you've met him before?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah. Some of the stuff he says…sounds like something I've heard before. I keep getting impulsive thoughts and responses to his actions and words. I keep thinking I know things about him that I shouldn't."

Naminé tilted her head in curiosity. "Like what?"

"Like…I dunno. I don't get any of it. It's probably just college stress—never mind what I said."

"Are you sure, Roxas? This isn't like you."

"Or maybe this is who I've been all along…only I hid it."

"Roxas…" she sighed. "I know college is new and different, but nobody makes a complete personality change in just one day." She tentatively touched his shoulder. "I know you, and you don't say things without a good reason. Everything you're saying you're feeling—I think you should pay attention to it."

Roxas shrugged. "Okay," he acquiesced.

"Roxas…" Naminé began again, more hesitantly this time. "Are you…attracted to Axel?"

Blue eyes bulged out. Roxas stopped in his tracks. "What?!" he exclaimed, nearly sputtering.

Naminé giggled behind a pale hand. "I guess that answers my question."

"W-wait," he stammered. "But…he's a guy. And I'm a guy." Naminé was already walking back towards her room, leaving Roxas in the middle of the hallway. "Wait, Naminé! I wasn't expecting that question!"

Naminé waved to him without turning around. "Bye, Roxas."

* * *

Axel and Zexion were playing a game of chess. It was something the two did together pretty often for various reasons—though usually to quench boredom or blow off some steam.

"You seemed to hit it off with Roxas' roomie last night," Axel commented. "You going to see him again?"

"We live in the same building," Zexion responded neutrally. "There is a high probability that I will meet him again."

Axel kept pressing. "Are you free during the eleven thirty-five to twelve forty time slot tomorrow?"

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

Axel grinned. "Well, I'm eating lunch with Roxas tomorrow and his family. I bet your little blonde friend will be there, too, since he's Roxas' roommate."

"For what reason does this concern me?"

"Wouldn't it be convenient if you 'coincidentally' ran into him during lunch tomorrow?"

Zexion moved a rook before answering. He captured one of Axel's knights. "You don't know for sure that Demyx will be there."

Axel laced his fingers together and leaned his chin on them. He smirked at Zexion. "Tsk, tsk, Zexion—or should I say, '_Zexy_.' You should know me by now…when am I ever wrong about these things?"

Zexion's lips curled upwards. "Surprisingly enough…hardly ever."

* * *

"Rikuuu, I can't sleep!" Sora whined.

"It would help if you actually laid down on the bed instead of bouncing on it," Riku responded dryly.

"Buuuuut…I can't wait until classes tomorrow!" he shrieked.

"Sora, did you have sugar?"

Sora giggled. "Yup!" He bounced a few more times for good measure.

"We have eight-thirty physics tomorrow. Go to sleep!"

"I'm too hyperrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

Riku sighed. The only way he could make Sora calm down is if he tied the brunet to the bed…

Kinky.

Or, better yet, he could hold down Sora himself.

"Sora, if you don't quiet down right now I'm going to put a pillow of your head until you pass out."

Sora gasped loudly. "Riku, are you trying to _kill _me?"

"No, I'm just helping you fall asleep."

"Right, you 'help' me 'fall asleep' by cutting off my oxygen until you kill me!" he cried. "Aha! 'Sleep' is a metaphor for death!" He trembled. "You're trying to kill me!"

Riku finally threw off his covers and approached Sora's bed. Sora shrunk back with a squeak.

"Relax, Sora; I'm not going to kill you."

The silver-haired boy climbed into the bed next to his friend. "Lie down," he told the brunet. Sora complied immediately, wiggling under the covers next to Riku and facing him. Riku pushed brown hair out of Sora's face. "Close your eyes," he said softly. Sora's breath hitched when Riku touched his face, but it evened out once he shut his eyes.

Riku's contact with Sora and steady breathing lulled the brunet to sleep.

* * *

Roxas arrived at his Intro to Business class ten minutes early. Nobody else was in the classroom, though he heard someone's footsteps behind him.

"Your first day of college," whispered a voice in his ear. "Excited?"

Roxas jumped with a small yelp. Who dared to invade his personal space?

Axel laughed richly. "Didn't know you scared so easily, Roxy."

Roxas fumed. "I wasn't _scared_," he insisted. "I was _startled_."

The blonde took a seat in the front row of the center column. Axel, he figured, must be the back-of-the-classroom type.

He didn't expect to feel hot breath crawling down his neck as soon as he took his pen out.

"Stop that. It's weird."

"No—licking your ear would be weird." Axel smirked. "And here I was about to offer you some advice for this class."

"I don't _need_ your advice," Roxas huffed.

Axel leaned back in his chair nonchalantly. A few more students filed into the classroom. An extremely muscular man walked to the front of the classroom. He looked like he could snap anyone's legs like twigs.

Once the class had officially started, the man in the front of the room spoke in a gruff voice. "My name is Professor Barret Wallace. This is Introduction to Business."

Roxas couldn't help but think that Professor Wallace looked just plain _scary_.

The class was spent going over the course syllabus. The entire time, Roxas could feel Axel's eyes on the back of his head. He wanted to turn around and tell the redhead off, but he didn't want to make a bad impression on his first college teacher.

Axel followed him when Roxas exited the classroom.

"We have Business Statistics together next, Roxas! Let's walk together."

"Leave me alone," Roxas grumbled.

"Did you just not get enough sleep last night, or are you always this grouchy?" Axel inquired.

"I don't like you."

"On the contrary," Axel snickered. "I think you like me a lot. More than you want to admit."

"Me? Like you? An arrogant fool?" Roxas scoffed. "Don't make me laugh."

Axel frowned. "Seriously, Roxas…why can't we just be friends? It's like you won't even give me a chance."

Roxas felt like someone had driven a stake through his heart upon seeing Axel's dismal expression. How could Axel's mood affect his own so drastically?

Roxas sighed. "Look…I can't help it. It's the way I am."

Axel smiled at him sincerely. "I wouldn't want you to be anyone but you, Roxas."

* * *

Business Statistics was fairly uneventful. Professor Lexaeus was just a muscular as Professor Wallace, and looked equally scary. Roxas wondered if all of the teachers at the school were abnormally muscular.

Roxas did notice, however, that Professor Lexaeus was considerably different from Professor Wallace in his teaching style. Lexaeus was a silent man who spoke only when necessary. He seldom elaborated on anything; he instead preferred to write things down when he could.

Roxas and Axel made their way to the Student Commons, one of the more popular meal areas. After they got their food, they found Naminé, Kairi, Sora, Riku, and Demyx at a long table. Roxas took a seat next to Demyx, and Axel sat beside Roxas on his other side.

"Is it okay if my roommate meets us here?" Axel asked.

Demyx's eyes brightened. "Your roomie's Zexy, isn't it?" When Axel nodded, Demyx grinned exuberantly. "Sure!" he answered for everyone.

Axel flipped his phone open to text Zexion their location. He immediately got a response. "Zexion will be here in three minutes," Axel announced.

"Who's your friend, Roxas?" Riku asked. It was strange for Riku, of all people, to have spoken this question—and Roxas saw something akin to suspicion in his cousin's best friend's eyes.

_He's not my friend!_ Roxas almost snapped, but refrained. "He's a classmate. I met him the other night at the party."

Riku seemed to accept this, but continued to eye Axel warily.

"How come Roxas has already made so many new friends?" Sora complained. "He's supposed to be the anti-social one! Hell has frozen over!"

Roxas rolled his eyes. He leaned over towards Axel. "Sora is such a kid sometimes. He's only half serious when he says those things, though," he murmured.

Riku shook his head tiredly. "Sora, did you have sugar again?"

Sora grinned and nodded his head vigorously. "Mhm!"

"How the hell did you get your hands on sugar? You were with me the whole time."

"It's a secret!" Sora told him, sticking his tongue out.

"I thought Riku was supposed to keep an eye on him," Roxas stated.

"Don't blame it on Riku!" Kairi retorted. "It's Sora's choice whether he eats sugar or not. If he wants to act like a sugar-high idiot all the time, that's his decision. Don't you dare blame Riku, Roxas."

"Well, obviously, your brother is incapable of making his own decisions—"

"AXEL ATISH, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE GAY?!"

Roxas was quite surprised that Axel showed anything but utter mortification at the scream that could be heard all throughout the Commons. Somehow, Axel looked pretty damn calm.

A blonde girl with antennae-like hair protrusions stomped over behind Axel, forcefully wheeling him around in his seat.

"Well, Larxene," Axel replied calmly, "I believe the term is 'bisexual'."

"I heard you hooked up with a guy the other night," she remarked. She saw Roxas glaring at her. "What are you looking at, twerp?" She frowned. "Wait, is this the guy you slept with, Axel? He's not even hotter than me!"

"Larxene, I didn't have sex with anyone," Axel stated. "Made out, yes—but nothing more."

"I think it's time we saw other people, Axel," Larxene told him. "This arrangement we had was fun while it lasted, but I think it's obvious we should move on."

Axel's expression was unreadable. "Okay."

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

That convo between Sora and Riku…happens every time I go to a fencing tournament. I eat something sugary or drink something caffeinated and go crazy, and then my friend tells me he'll 'help' me 'sleep' by suffocating me with a pillow until I pass out. xD

**Crediting:** ImageC0rrupt3d is the artist on DA where I got the firecrotch idea from. Thanks to beehive130 and MiahTheStormWolf for reminding me.

Omg I am so tired right now…I have a midterm tomorrow. :'( I hope writing the chapter was worth taking away from sleep/study time. And hopefully the chapter doesn't suck. I refused to let it go any longer without it being written.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are so far!**


	7. Part VII

I tried to incorporate as many of the main characters as possible this chapter! Enjoy!

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part VII

* * *

Computer Science was a relatively small major at RGU—as a result, Leon knew just about everyone in his graduating class.

So who the hell was Spiky?

The guy sitting in the back corner of his Advanced Algorithms class reminded him a bit of Roxas, with his spiked platinum blond hair and intense, bright blue eyes. And somehow, Spiky seemed every bit as surly as his cousin.

Leon took a seat next to the blonde. Under normal circumstances, he minded his own business. But Spiky piqued his curiosity.

"I'm Leon," he told the blonde in a low voice.

Spiky barely looked at him. "Cloud," he muttered.

"New?"

"Transfer."

"Where from?"

"Zelda."

Leon raised an eyebrow. "You're from the Nintendo continent?"

Cloud's blue eyes finally met his with a challenging gaze. "Yeah."

"And you're fluent in the Fantasian language?"

Cloud's facial expression, along with his voice, remained apathetic. "Just because Kingdom Hearts natives don't bother to learn other languages doesn't mean other countries don't learn Fantasian."

The guy had attitude, even if he didn't express it. Leon was intrigued.

"What other languages do you know?"

Cloud turned away to face the front of the room. "Enough questions."

Put off, Leon too turned towards the chalkboard. It was only the first day.

* * *

When Zexion arrived at the lunch table, he knew immediately that something was wrong with Axel. He tried to catch the redhead's eye to no avail. He wasn't about to ask Axel in front of all those people.

"Is Axel okay?" asked a soft voice in his ear. Demyx.

He shrugged at the blonde sitting next to him. Axel was seated across the table, staring into space.

"His girlfriend broke up with him," Demyx added in a whisper.

About time.

It didn't take a rocket scientist—or a psychologist, for that matter—to figure out that Axel and Larxene didn't belong together. Their relationship had been based solely on the physical pleasure derived from sex. Zexion knew.

Luckily, their sexcapades had become less and less frequent.

Zexion guessed that Larxene didn't like being deprived.

Axel's pursuit of Marluxia the last couple of days had been an interesting development—but Zexion had a feeling that it was auxiliary to the person that Axel was truly after. The question was…was it intentional?

Then again, Axel did everything for a reason.

Zexion decided to file away his questions and thoughts regarding Axel for later. Right now, he had a cute blonde sitting next to him—and Zexion was going to take advantage of that.

Unless the blonde took advantage of him first.

"So, Zexy…do you have a girlfriend?" Demyx inquired, nudging Zexion in the ribs. "I bet you do! Girls must be all over you!"

"Quite the contrary," he answered curtly.

"Oh. Well, fawning girls are almost as bad as exes. I had an ex-girlfriend who left me for another girl," he said, wrinkling his nose. "That was humiliating! What about you, Zexy? Any embarrassing ex stories?"

Zexion frowned. "I don't have any exes."

Demyx looked surprised. "Really? Why not?"

Blue eyes winced. "I wasn't really interested in dating until recently."

"Well, in that case, we'll be each other's wingmen. I'll set you up with a nice girl, and you'll set me up with a nice guy."

Zexion's eyes widened fractionally at the implication. Well, it was one obstacle out of the way. Maybe he could go out on a limb. It was a risky move, but… "Or we could set ourselves up with each other and we'd both have nice guys," he suggested.

Demyx laughed. "Good one, Zexy! Seriously, I'll find you a great girl. Don't you worry."

* * *

It wasn't like Axel expected that he and Larxene would be together forever. They both knew upon starting their relationship that they were each other's temporary fixes for the gaping hole in their chests. The sex…was a distraction. It meant they could forget about their problems for just a moment and pretend that they were fulfilled human beings.

But it didn't mean Axel wasn't still shocked that it ended so abruptly. Just like that—Axel was a single man again.

He had known it was coming for months—but never had he thought that she would dump him over a homosexual encounter with Marluxia.

And even worse—his time with Marluxia had amounted to virtually nothing.

But at the same time…Axel somehow felt better. He felt that things between him and Marluxia had been resolved. There was this unknown longstanding issue that had been in between them, and they could finally move past it and become friends again.

_Again?_

But…he and Marluxia hadn't even _known_ each other before college.

And then there was Roxas. As soon as he'd seen the other teen, he'd known that he _liked_ him. Even when Roxas was scowling at him…everything felt _right_.

Axel hadn't noticed, but everyone had gotten up and left the lunch room. Everyone except Roxas.

"Are you okay?" Roxas asked worriedly.

Axel gave a weak smile. "Yeah."

"Are you sure?" he asked disbelievingly. "You spaced out there for a while."

"Aww, is Roxy worried about me?"

Roxas gave him a shove on the shoulder. "Shut up." There was no real malice in his words, however.

"Don't worry about it. It's been coming for a long time," he explained. "It's just not every day your girlfriend screams that you're gay in front of a bunch of people you've just met, then dumps you."

"Really?" Roxas asked seriously. "It happens to me all the time."

Axel looked at Roxas deathly solemn expression, but the twinkle in those blue eyes gave away that he was joking. Axel laughed. Roxas joined him.

"Thanks, Roxas," Axel said. "I needed that."

Roxas smiled wryly. "What are friends for?"

Red eyebrows shot up. "We're friends now?" Axel looked ecstatic. "You really mean it?"

The blonde nodded. "Yeah. As long as you never trick me into getting myself sick again."

Axel grinned exuberantly and pulled Roxas into a tight sideways hug, pressing their cheeks together. "No more milk pong for Roxy," he promised. "I've got it."

* * *

Kairi tagged along with Sora and Riku—they all had Applied Calculus II together.

"Sora, did you even bring pencils or paper to class?" Kairi demanded, noticing her twin's lack of backpack.

Sora shook his head glumly. "I thought I'd have time to go back to the dorm after lunch."

"Well, I'm sure _Riku_ brought extra supplies that you could borrow," she stated. "_Riku_ is always prepared for school. You're going to get kicked out of the Honors college if you keep slacking, Sora. After all, you only just got in by the skin of your teeth."

"I'm doing my best, Kairi!" Sora argued. "Why can't you just be proud of me like everyone else?"

"Riku's been a top student all along. _You_ only started to pull your act together in your junior year, when you realized you wouldn't be able to go to college with the rest of us with your abysmal grades. Riku—"

"Enough, Kairi," Riku growled through clenched teeth. "Stop criticizing Sora just to compliment me."

Kairi stopped short. She watched her brother and her crush continue to walk ahead of her, with Sora giving the occasional concerned glance over his shoulder.

Naminé had been right—

Riku _didn't_ like Kairi…

He liked Sora.

* * *

The last person Axel expected to knock on his door was Marluxia DeFlorio.

"Is Zexion here?" Marluxia asked.

"Nah. He's at class."

"I need to talk to you."

Axel stepped aside to allow Marluxia to enter and shut the door behind him. Marluxia sat himself in the two-man seat in the common area, and Axel took the cushion beside him.

"I've been getting these strange…dreams."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "You know I'm a Psychology major, not a psychoanalyst?"

"I know," the pink-haired teen breathed. "Even if you can't tell me whether or not I'm crazy...I figured they might be of interest to you…especially because they're _about_ you."

Axel's curiosity spiked further, but he waited patiently for the other to continue.

"There are two that keep recurring. In one…I'm kissing you," he stated. "For the longest time, I felt like there was something…off…about the kiss—and not just because you pushed me away. But then I realized…the reason I kissed you in the dream wasn't because we were together—I think that was pretty clear when you pushed me away. I kissed you…to comfort you. I kissed you…because a terrible feeling inside of me told me I'd never see you again."

Axel didn't want to interrupt the other, but he couldn't help it. He had to say something. "I had…" he said, his voice shaking slightly, "the same dream."

Marluxia looked at Axel for the first time since he'd started speaking. His first inclination was to snap at the redhead for making fun of him, for not taking this seriously. When he saw the sallow paleness of Axel's cheeks, however, he knew the redhead wasn't lying.

"In my other dream…you killed me."

Axel turned suddenly. He looked sick. "…What?"

"You killed me…with your fire," Marluxia responded calmly.

_Fire?!_

Impossible. No one, not even Zexion or Larxene, knew about Axel's secret affinity for fire.

The world around Axel suddenly disappeared to blackness.

* * *

Leon was working on his Advanced Algorithms homework when there was a sharp knock on his door. As he got up to answer it, he hoped it wasn't a freshman. Freshmen could be extremely irritating in the beginning with their insignificant problems that they blew out of proportion.

…What was Spiky doing at his door?

"Lost?" Leon asked with a smirk.

Although Cloud's face didn't move, he seemed to be frowning. "This is my room."

"Small world."

"Unfortunately." Cloud handed Leon some papers and brushed past Leon with his two large suitcases.

Leon glanced over the sheets Cloud had given him. Room D201 indeed.

"Need help carrying anything?" Leon inquired.

"No."

The blonde didn't seem to being leaving the room. "Aren't you going to get the rest of your stuff?"

"This is everything."

Another knock on the door. The spiky-haired blonde this time was shorter and lankier—Roxas.

"Leon, sorry to bother you, but I couldn't find any information—Cloud?!"

Cloud, who was in the middle of filling his closet, turned around. Roxas ran past Leon and threw his arms around Cloud. Leon couldn't figure out which shocked him more—that Roxas had run over to hug his roommate, or that Cloud had smiled and returned the embrace.

"Why didn't you tell us you were transferring to RGU?" Roxas demanded as he squeezed Cloud, so tightly that Cloud was having some difficulty breathing.

"RGU offered me a full scholarship…but I didn't have the money to fly here."

"You could've asked us!" Roxas admonished. "My parents would've happily given you the money."

"I didn't want to be…a burden."

Roxas finally pulled away to look into Cloud's eyes, which were the same color as his own. "You're family, Cloud. Never think you're a burden. Don't be afraid to ask for help."

Leon surprised to see this side of Roxas. Roxas had always been quiet around him, though Sora managed to get Roxas to lighten up—but Sora could brighten _anyone's_ day. Though the thing that struck him most was the fact that Roxas had initiated a hug—something Leon had never seen the boy do, even with Naminé and Sora.

Leon stood there awkwardly, not wanting to intrude on the moment, yet not able to tear his eyes away.

Luckily, Roxas seemed to realize the other presence in the room. "Leon…this is Cloud, my cousin—my mother's brother's son. Cloud…meet my other cousin—my father's brother's son."

"We've met," Leon stated. "We have a class together. I didn't know you had a cousin from Zelda, Roxas."

"We used to visit a lot when we were kids. It's been a few years, though." He faced Cloud again. "We should all have dinner together tonight. Naminé will be glad to see you."

Cloud nodded, his face returning to neutral. "I'd like that."

Suddenly, a pink-haired man burst into Leon's room, panting and out of breath.

"What happened, Marluxia?" Leon asked. This behavior was unusual for Marluxia.

"Axel—" Marluxia gasped. "He passed out. I don't know what's wrong with him."

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

Heehee, I referenced the Legend of Zelda and FF games in the convo b/t Cloud and Leon. I don't own rights, even if I own the games. xD

Some of you guessed correctly about Cloud being Leon's roommate. But did anyone guess that Cloud and Roxas were related before it was said? ;D

**Characterizations:** Ugh, I'm really worried about Leon. And about Cloud—though not as much b/c I've at least seen Advent Children. I understand Cloud as uninterested and apathetic, until he finds something that sparks his interest, and then he'll pursue it relentlessly (like Sephiroth in FFVII and the remnants in AC). Cloud and Leon both seem detached and unemotional at first glance, but they care deeply about those who do manage to get close to them. I'm going to try to keep somewhat in line with their original characters (though for Cloud I'll rely more on AC and Leon I'll rely more on KHII), and anything different I'll chalk up to them being raised in a different environment. ;)

I hate it when guys (or girls) ask me about exes, because I always have to tell them I've never had a boyfriend. It's embarrassing—I'm 18 (almost 19!) and I'm graduating college in two years. I hate it even more when they ask me why. It's hard to explain that even though my preference is males, I just haven't really found one I'm interested in dating. I can sort of relate to Zexion. And anyone else there who's like us—you're not alone!

Question: What do Leon, Zexion, and Kairi have in common?

Answer: They all got…shot down! I don't know what that's like. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


	8. Part VIII

Sorry it took so long to update again. It's a bit of a transition chapter…and writer's block has plagued me like crazy with this story. xD I think this is one of my longest chapters ever, so I hope that makes up for the lateness!

_**WARNING: SPRING NICHT SPOILERS!!**_

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part VIII

* * *

Axel was rushed to the Radiant Garden Hospital, a medical center just a few minutes away from the college campus. Marluxia rode in the ambulance vehicle with Axel, and Leon drove Roxas and Cloud to the hospital.

The doctors couldn't find anything wrong with Axel—he was stable, just unconscious.

The only person on Axel's emergency contact list was his roommate, Zexion Sarabi. The hospital called him immediately to inform him of Axel's condition and ask if the redhead had any medical allergies.

Zexion caught a bus and arrived about twenty minutes later. He approached Marluxia first.

"What happened?" Zexion demanded coolly.

Marluxia shook his head. "I don't know…we were just talking…and then he fainted."

Zexion raised an eyebrow. "What were you talking about?"

"That is not of your concern," Marluxia spat.

"It is if it will help me figure out what's wrong with him," he retorted.

Roxas watched intently as the two adolescents glared at each other. Leon decided to mediate.

"Zexion, do you know if Axel has any medical conditions that could have triggered this?" Leon asked.

"No," Zexion responded brusquely. "I've informed the doctors of his penicillin allergy. This is highly unusual, considering the fact that Axel has no record of preexisting health conditions."

They fell silent for a minute. Zexion seemed to be racking is brains for an answer. Marluxia looked like he wanted to say something, but was still inwardly debating whether or not he wanted to verbalize it. Roxas was really worried about Axel—and could tell that Leon was, too, even if Leon didn't show it. Cloud looked slightly out of place; he had never met Axel before.

"Is it possible that his condition is psychological?" Marluxia suggested.

Zexion frowned. "Are you insinuating that Axel is mentally unstable?"

"No—I'm just wondering if something psychological is manifesting itself physically."

"Is there any particular 'psychological' cause that comes to mind, Marluxia?"

Marluxia gritted his teeth. "Wouldn't you know? You're his roommate."

"My role as roommate does not grant me omniscience about Axel."

Based on the behavior that they were exhibiting, it was clear that Zexion and Marluxia did not trust each other at all. Zexion didn't trust Marluxia because he thought the other was withholding important information that could explain his roommate's condition. Marluxia didn't trust Zexion enough to tell him that information.

* * *

Axel Atish didn't know where the hell he was. He was in some sort of town, but it was shrouded by darkness.

Yet somehow, it looked familiar.

Instinctively, he dodged out of the way. A bolt of lightning had just barely grazed him.

_What the fuck?!_

He evaded the lightning bolts for some time. When he finally located the source of the attacks, he noticed that his opponent looked like—

_Xemnas?!_

As in…his _philosophy professor_ from last semester? The one who hated Axel's guts for no apparent reason?

There was a break in the lightning attacks, so Axel took that moment to launch three flaming chakrams at him.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Xemnas had anticipated Axel's action. With a wave of his hand, he telekinetically redirected the path of the chakrams—

Towards Marluxia.

Marluxia, who had begun an attack of his own, was at point-blank range. The chakrams ripped through him and set his cloak on fire.

"NO!" Axel screamed. He needed Demyx—_Demyx would be able to save Marluxia—_

* * *

"The doctors don't know when he'll wake up," Zexion said solemnly. It was a few hours since Axel had been admitted to the hospital. "They still can't determine why he's in this state. If they knew," he added, giving Marluxia a hard look, "they might be able to help him."

Marluxia stared back at Zexion just as coldly. Roxas was frustrated by the inaction. He was worried about Axel, and he wanted to know what was wrong with him. Sure, he had only met the redhead two days ago…but despite their rocky start, they'd become fast friends.

Roxas glanced at Marluxia. "Can I talk to you?"

Marluxia wordlessly stood and followed Roxas down the hallway—out of earshot of Zexion and the others.

"You _were_ with Axel when he passed out, weren't you?" Roxas asked. "What happened? I won't tell Zexion if you don't want me to."

"Why do you care?" Marluxia sneered. "You barely know him."

"But I feel like I've known him for a really long time!" Roxas cried passionately, anger seeping into his voice. His words seemed to come to him out of nowhere, but he felt them strongly. "I owe him…I have to take care of him."

Marluxia didn't know what it was about the blonde in front of him, but he felt that Roxas was sincere. He knew that unlike Zexion, he could trust Roxas.

"This may sound…strange…" Marluxia began, choosing his words carefully, "but Axel and I were talking about…dreams."

"Dreams?" Roxas repeated. "Why?"

"I told him about the two recurring dreams I've been having lately. When I told him about my second dream, he paled and passed out."

"What was the dream about?" Roxas inquired.

"I saw him kill me."

"He didn't mean to."

"I know."

* * *

It was too late.

Marluxia fell into Axel's arms as he turned to ashes. The pink-haired Nobody stared lifelessly ahead. Axel clenched his teeth in self-loathing.

_"I'm sorry, Marluxia…__**this wasn't supposed to happen**__…"_

The Graceful Assassin tried to say something, but the words caught in his throat. Instead, his lips twisted into an inscrutable smile as his body drifted to…wherever Nobodies went.

* * *

When his conversation with Marluxia ended, Roxas couldn't wrap his mind around anything that had been discussed. The things Marluxia said…the ways Roxas himself responded…none of it made sense! It was like two different people had been having the conversation—it was still basically Roxas and Marluxia talking, but different versions of them speaking to each other.

Zexion kept stealing inconspicuous glances at Roxas when the blonde returned to the waiting area. With a shake of his head, Roxas signified that Marluxia's information was not relevant to Axel's condition—or rather, it wouldn't help them revive the redhead.

Once visiting hours were over, Leon drove them all back to campus. They had not gotten the opportunity to see Axel because the doctors were still running tests on him, but they were assured that they'd be allowed to visit tomorrow.

Marluxia's dreams that night, however familiar, were just as frightening, if not more so than they had been previously.

Zexion and Roxas, trapped in their newfound nightmares, didn't sleep any better.

* * *

Axel realized _he'd left Roxas defenseless._

The blonde Nobody was capable of protecting himself, but just like anyone, he could get overwhelmed. Xemnas seemed to be concentrating this set of attacks towards Roxas. He sent pillars of darkness at the blonde, while simultaneously keeping the others busy enough not to attack him.

Roxas was knocked over by a blast of dark energy. He hit the wall of a building with a crash. He was disoriented by the blow to the head, and injured by the dark energy. Just as Marluxia was weak against fire, Roxas was weak against darkness. Luckily, since Roxas had been a sizable distance away, he survived the attack. But if Xemnas managed to get another direct hit, Roxas would be—

Xemnas released another orb of dark energy in Roxas' direction. In Roxas' state of confusion, he wouldn't be able to defend himself.

Axel watched in horror as the sphere of dark energy accelerated towards Roxas.

* * *

Leon and Cloud got back to the room close to midnight. Leon was exhausted.

"Sorry you got dragged into what happened," Leon told Cloud. "It's not normally this eventful."

Cloud shrugged. "I was there for Roxas," he said bluntly.

_I was there for Roxas, too!_ Leon wanted to reply. _You're not Roxas' only cousin._

It sounded so juvenile.

Besides, what right did Cloud have to 'be there for Roxas' if he hadn't been around for the past several years? What did Cloud have that Leon didn't?

* * *

"Axel…what happened to us?" Roxas sounded so defeated…so broken.

Axel smiled sadly. "There never was an 'us'." He stood.

"But what about before?" the blonde asked desperately, his voice cracking. "We were best friends."

"Roxas..." Their eyes locked. Suddenly, Axel lunged at him, plunging his chakrams into Roxas' body. If he'd had a heart, Axel's would have torn in two at the sight of the hurt and betrayal in Roxas' eyes. Axel shakily pressed his lips against the blonde's ear and whispered parting words to the one he vowed to protect with everything he had.

"_We can't go back_."

* * *

Zexion hated when others thought he was weak. Somehow, his love of books equated to a lack of strength.

He hated it more when he was proven to be weak.

His lexicon was a fitting weapon. It had the capability to absorb the attacks of most other attributes, just like the knowledge he absorbed from literature on a regular basis. Although it was not the most mobile weapon, it was usually effective for his absorb-and-redirect-attacks fighting style.

He knew that his greatest asset in this battle was in his defensive tactics. When Axel abandoned awareness to rush after Marluxia, Zexion made sure to protect the redhead.

Axel was reckless. There was no way Marluxia would make it, yet Axel felt compelled to go after him anyway. He left Roxas by himself.

Within seconds Roxas too was in danger of being destroyed. Axel came to Roxas' rescue, and Zexion followed for reinforcement.

The attacks became concentrated on Axel. Xemnas would stop at nothing to destroy the redhead. Despite Zexion's attempts to absorb the orbs of water, he was unable to protect Axel. A pillar of water blasted through Axel. It was like watching a bucket of water being dumped on a candle.

"AXEL!" Roxas cried, staggering towards the redhead.

"Roxas, you mustn't stop!" Zexion urged him. "Xemnas will destroy you as well!"

It was one thing for others to say Zexion was weak—in the end, he could simply ignore those statements.

_But it was so much worse knowing he was weak because he failed to protect Axel._

* * *

Roxas was confident that he could hold off Xemnas while Axel checked on Marluxia. The pink-haired Nobody was in a lot more trouble than Roxas himself was at the moment.

Then Xemnas' attacks became stronger, fiercer. He seemed to focus his efforts on Roxas. He utilized the attribute of darkness, Roxas' weakness.

Roxas was knocked over by a blast of dark energy. He hit the wall of a building with a crash. He was disoriented by the blow to the head, and injured by the dark energy. He had survived the attack, but if he was hit by another one—he would be a goner.

Roxas' vision blurred. He was barely cognizant of his surroundings. He prayed that someone would notice his condition and protect him.

When his vision cleared again, he saw Axel being demolished by a pillar of water.

* * *

Sora had struggled with sleeping again that night. Riku had warned him not to have that chocolate bar after dinner, but the silver-haired teen didn't take adequate measures to prevent his friend from becoming hyped-up on sugar. Once again, Riku had climbed into bed next to Sora to calm him down.

Sora didn't mind, of course. With the multitude of times Sora and Riku had slept over each other's houses throughout the years, Sora figured that nothing Riku did would make him uncomfortable. They _were_ best friends, after all.

Besides, Sora enjoyed the company. He liked being close to Riku. Surely the other felt the same.

With Riku at his side in bed, he fell asleep much quicker, despite his sugar intake.

* * *

Roxas cradled Axel's head in his arms. His normally bright blue eyes were dulled and empty—devoid of expression.

For the first time, Roxas truly looked like a Nobody—without a heart, without emotions—just like Xemnas always told them.

"Let's meet again in the next life," Axel said hoarsely.

Roxas gulped, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "_I'll be waiting_."

The lower half of Axel's body had already disappeared. Mawsitsit eyes gazed into Roxas' blue chalcedony for one final time. The redhead struggled to get out his last words, and his voice was barely a whisper. "I know you will. I'll be waiting, too."

He kept fading. Axel's eyes never left Roxas' until they had vanished from non-existence.

* * *

When Roxas awoke the next morning, he felt like someone had nearly killed him and then brought him back from the brink of death.

Not that he knew what that felt like.

Demyx was still sleeping. Most of his classes didn't start till afternoon.

Roxas took a quick shower and dressed in the outfit he'd originally planned to wear to the party a few nights ago. He had Business Psychology. He would've walked to class with Axel, but the redhead was still…

Roxas recognized a few of the people in Business Psychology from his other classes. A good amount of the class consisted of Business Management majors, but there seemed to be a few Psychology majors, like Axel.

Axel…

When his classes were over, Roxas decided he would take a bus over to the hospital and visit his friend.

Professor Xaldin had an athletic build, but he didn't seem as abnormally muscular as Wallace or Lexaeus. But somehow, each professor looked meaner than the last. Wallace and Lexaeus seemed like nice guys compared to Xaldin. Xaldin, with his dreadlocks, sideburns, and thick eyebrows…they all seemed like distractors from his eyes, which contained a sadistic glint.

When Xaldin did the roll call, Axel's name was one of the first on the list.

"Axel Atish."

There was no response. Of course, Axel was in this hospital. Roxas spoke up.

"He's in the hospital, Professor."

Xaldin looked at Roxas with cold, dark eyes.

"Are you a _friend_ of Axel's?" Xaldin sneered.

"Yeah," Roxas replied defiantly.

"Then inform him that if he does not attend the next class, he will no longer be enrolled in it."

Roxas opened his mouth to argue, but was cut off by the professor, who continued the roll call.

Unlike other teachers, who used the class time to go over the course syllabus, Xaldin went straight to the course work.

"Open your textbooks to page one hundred and twenty-three. Roxas Figaro, read from the top of the page."

It was obvious that Xaldin was already picking on Roxas. Did Xaldin already hate him simply because he had told him Axel's whereabouts?

Roxas paused at the end of the page. Surely Xaldin wouldn't make him read any more. The blonde had no problems reading aloud, but he didn't like being under Xaldin's constant scrutiny.

"Can anyone rephrase what Mister Figaro just read?"

A petite brunette with candy-green eyes next to Roxas raised her hand. Xaldin nodded in her direction. "State your name before speaking," he commanded.

"Olette Midori," she responded. "The author's explaining why a foundation in business and psychology is essential for any field, not just the two mentioned. Psychology is crucial for understand how people think and process information. Business is what ties those people together in the work environment."

Xaldin's eyes moved back to Roxas. "Mister Figaro, tell us what Miss Midori neglected to mention."

Roxas panicked, his thoughts frantically shifting back to what he'd read. In his peripheral vision, he noticed Olette's shoulders sag with disappointment. Though Xaldin's statement hadn't been an outright insult, that didn't make the subtle cruelty hurt any less.

What was the point in coming up with a good answer, anyway? It seemed that Xaldin would hate him—and everyone else—no matter what.

"Olette gave a succinct and accurate summarization of what I read," Roxas told him boldly.

"This class is not about summarizations," Xaldin responded. "If you believe this class is about memorizing vocabulary and taking multiple choice exams, you should leave right now while you have the chance, for you will undoubtedly fail."

There was a colossal shuffling of seats, and more than half the class got up and left. Just over ten students remained—including Roxas Figaro and Olette Midori.

Xaldin surveyed the room. An unspoken challenge filled the room:

_Are you sure?_

"This class is about learning the skills required to manipulate everyone around you. This class will teach you to take advantage of your enemies' weaknesses. This class will teach you to trust no one but yourself. And, above all, this class will teach you to rise to the top _no matter what_."

Roxas didn't like the sound of this class, but he needed it for his major. He could survive.

But why did everything have to involve mind games?

The blonde shook his head. Axel would help him.

If he woke up.

* * *

"Thanks for standing up for me in class, Roxas."

Roxas turned to face the voice that had spoken to him. It was Olette, along with a blond-haired boy who had been sitting on Olette's other side during class.

Roxas shrugged. "It was no big deal. Xaldin was out of line."

Olette smiled. "Well, it was nice of you to defend my honor like that," she said with a laugh. "Considering my nimrod boyfriend didn't do the job."

"Hey!" the blonde next to her exclaimed. "It's not like I had the opportunity—Xaldin called on Roxas, not me."

Olette giggled. "That's Hayner," she told Roxas, slipping her hand into her boyfriend's. "He acts like a tough guy, but he's a real sweetie."

"Ugh, don't tell him _that,_ Olette!" Hayner slapped his forehead. "He might actually believe you!"

Roxas decided that he liked Hayner and Olette. They were…fun.

"What year are you guys in?" Roxas asked.

"We're freshmen," Hayner replied. "You?"

"Same here. Where do you guys live?"

"Ansem College," Olette told him.

"I'm in the Honors College, too. Maybe we'll run into each other at our building," Roxas remarked. There was a hint of a smile on his face. "I have another class now…see you around."

"Later!" Hayner called out.

* * *

Roxas had a good feeling about his Writing class with Professor Luxord. The only thing threatening about that guy was his extensive vocabulary and complicated analogies—both of which he used often in his regular speech. He also promised five bonus points on the final average of anyone who could beat him at poker.

Writing was a requirement for all freshmen. Naminé, Sora, Riku, Kairi, Hayner, and Olette were all in Roxas' class.

"Hey Roxas!" Olette greeted him at the end of class. "I didn't know you had Writing now. We should've all walked together!"

Roxas grinned sheepishly. "We can next time."

"This is Pence," Olette said, gesturing towards a plump brunet. "He's also a freshman."

Pence smiled at him. "Hey, Roxas. It seems you've already made a good impression on Olette."

"Uh…thanks."

All of a sudden, Roxas felt someone slam into him from behind.

"Roxas! How've ya been? I missed you!"

The blonde didn't have to guess who was about to snap his bones in two with the force of a hug. "I saw you yesterday, Sora."

"It's been a long, dreary morning without you, dear cousin," Sora responded in a chipper voice.

"You need to keep a tighter leash on him, Riku."

"No!" Sora whined. "Collars make my neck itchy."

Riku pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't ask."

"Roxas, do you know these people?" Olette inquired.

"Yeah. That's Sora, my cousin. Riku is his best friend. Kairi is Sora's twin, and Naminé is my twin," Roxas pointed out each person as he mentioned his or her name. "Everyone, this is Olette, Hayner, and Pence."

Sora grabbed Olette's hand and shook it vigorously. "Nice to meet you, I'm Sora!"

Olette laughed. "Yep! Roxas told us."

"You have pretty eyes."

The corners of Olette's eyes crinkled with amusement. "Thanks."

"Hey!" Hayner stepped in, glaring at Sora. "Hands off my girlfriend."

Sora jumped backwards fearfully, bumping into Riku's chest. "Sorry!"

Roxas shook his head. "He didn't mean anything by it. He's random—you'll get used to it."

"Are you all done with classes? Let's eat lunch together!" Sora suggested.

Roxas remembered Axel. "I've got something to do. I'll catch you guys later."

* * *

Naminé caught up with Roxas on the way back to Ansem College.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Axel's in the hospital," Roxas explained. "I promised I'd visit him after class."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

Roxas shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

Naminé smiled knowingly. "I'll drop off my stuff and meet you at the bus stop in a few minutes, okay?"

Roxas loved his sister. Once again, she'd read him flawlessly—even though Roxas wouldn't admit to wanting or needing moral support, she still somehow knew when to give it and when to back off.

The bus ride to the hospital was rather quiet. Roxas and Naminé were the only passengers. Roxas' thoughts drifted to the previous night. He'd been so happy to see Cloud, but the moment had been ruined by what happened to Axel.

"Cloud transferred to RGU."

Naminé's face brightened. "Really?"

Roxas nodded. "He's Leon's roommate."

Naminé looked out the window. "_That_ should be interesting."

Roxas would've asked what his twin meant by that, but once again he was preoccupied with thoughts of Axel.

Marluxia was in the waiting room when Roxas and Naminé arrived.

"I thought we would be allowed to see Axel now," Roxas said.

Marluxia barely acknowledged him. "Zexion's with him."

"What room?"

"One thirty-eight."

Roxas walked briskly down the hallway. Naminé touched his shoulder gently.

"Roxas, I know you want to see Axel on your own…but would it be all right if I came with you? That pink-haired man…gives me a bad feeling."

"He's not that bad..." Roxas trailed off. "But I don't mind if you come along. It's not like I'll be alone with Axel anyway."

Zexion was seated in a chair at Axel's bedside, his arms and legs crossed. His silver hair covered his right eye, just like always. He turned to see who had caused the disturbance in the room's atmosphere. Upon recognizing Roxas, he returned to facing Axel.

"Have they found anything out?" Roxas inquired.

"No," Zexion stated. "What did Marluxia tell you last night?"

"Why don't you ask Marluxia?"

"You know the answer to that."

There was a standstill again. Roxas refused to tell someone else what he presumed was told to him in confidence.

"Do you mind…if I had a few minutes with Axel alone?"

For a moment, Roxas thought Zexion was going to say no. Surprisingly, the silver-haired teen got up and exited the room. Naminé followed him.

Roxas took Zexion's seat at Axel's side. He yearned to touch the redhead, to hold him…but he felt that was inappropriate considering the short amount of time he'd known him.

"Axel…" he murmured. "It's Roxas. You know…we met the other day. You made me get sick from milk pong, remember?" Roxas laughed bitterly. "But you seem cool. I think we'd make good friends."

Though Roxas didn't notice, Axel's heart rate on the monitor sped up a little.

"Your friends are worried about you. Especially Zexion and Marluxia. They keep going at it because they're worried. Please wake up."

Mawsitsit eyes flew open and locked with cerulean.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**Zexion and Marluxia (contains **_**Spring Nicht**_** and CoM spoilers): **In _Spring Nicht_, Zexion and Marluxia didn't interact directly all that much—most of their contact was through Axel. I can definitely see them as being distrustful at first in this fic. First of all, the double and triple crossing Zexion did throughout the fic is enough to make anyone wary. Even though Axel freaks out b/c it's not part of his 'plan,' he still ultimately trusts Zexion—especially after Zexion helped save Roxas. Marluxia, on the other hand, never learned to trust Zexion. As for Zexion, I imagine that Marluxia's betrayal in Castle Oblivion made him equally suspicious of Marluxia. Their lack of direct communication really prevented them from rectifying their trust. The current situation they're in during this fic certainly doesn't help the feelings they have from their past lives.

**Roxas' eye color:** I decided for this story (with the exception of SN flashbacks) I'd like to use "cerulean" to describe Roxas' eye color instead of "blue chalcedony." First off, it's a less clunky sounding name…and second, I've decided that I visualize Roxas more with a bright blue eyes (seen during in-game play) as opposed to the light blue seen in the opening and credits (the high-definition). The blue chalcedony is more like the high-def color than the in-game color.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'm kinda insecure about the presentation of this chapter. Was it confusing?**


	9. Part IX

I have posted two new fanfics:

_**Ha Ha You're Dead**_

_**I'm So Sick**_

Please check them out and review them!

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part IX

* * *

Roxas, startled by the sudden movement, fell backwards in his chair with a loud crash.

"Yeesh, Roxy, don't look so surprised to see me…" Axel remarked. He looked around the room. "Wait a sec. Where am I?"

Roxas sat up, rubbing the back of his injured head. It was probably bruised. "You're in the hospital. You've been unconscious since last night."

Zexion burst into the room, giving it a swift once-over with his exposed eye, which finally landed on Axel. "You're awake." Naminé followed behind him.

"What happened? Did I pass out?"

"What do you remember?"

"Well," Axel said, scratching his head, "I was talking to Marluxia…that's the last thing I remember."

"Did Marluxia do something to you?" Zexion asked carefully.

Axel gave a confused look. "Why would Marluxia do something to me? He's my friend."

"He _was_ the last person you were with," Zexion pointed out. "And don't forget you were in a secluded area with him. Since when have you two become 'friends'?"

"Look, we've reached an understanding," Axel responded, an edge to his voice. "We've both decided that what's in the past doesn't matter now. Forgive and forget, and all that jazz. You could stand to do the same, Zexion."

The silver-haired teen didn't acknowledge Axel's statement. "I'll go find Marluxia."

After Zexion left the room, Naminé walked over to help her twin off the floor. She didn't need to ask why he was sitting there. Sensing that Roxas wanted to talk to Axel again, she quietly left the room.

"How are you feeling, Axel?" Roxas inquired.

"Aww, Roxy…you were the first one to care enough to ask," he said with a goofy grin.

"I just figured it was polite," the blonde retorted.

"Ouch, Roxy. Burn."

"Yeah, you would say that, wouldn't you?"

Mawsitsit eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

Roxas frowned. "Uh…" Blonde eyebrows scrunched together. "I'm not sure."

Axel hesitated—a rare occurrence with the redhead—it was a sign of vulnerability. "The reason I ask…well, you see, I have this…_fascination_ with fire, per se. You're the first person I've told, Roxas. It's just weird because it keeps coming up in conversation."

"Maybe there's a reason it keeps coming up."

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Like what?"

Roxas shrugged. "Maybe it's just your hair. It kinda looks like fire. People tend to say stuff they're thinking."

"Like a Freudian slip?"

Another shrug. "Maybe."

Roxas was closing himself off. A change of conversation was in order.

"So I was unconscious for a day, right? What did I miss in Business Psychology?"

"Professor Xaldin," Roxas responded, rolling his eyes. "What a strange guy. Kinda creepy."

"Man, just my luck…the day I go AWOL I have_ Xaldin's_ class. He's never gonna let me live it down."

"You know him?"

"He taught my Psych Intro class last year. He's also pretty involved with the Honors College. He hates my guts."

"…That explains why he was glaring daggers at me after I told him you were in the hospital."

"Well, no worries, Roxy—next class, Xaldy will be right back to glaring daggers at me. As long as he knows you had no further association with me, he won't even bother picking on you."

Roxas smirked. "That might be difficult. You see, I told Xaldin you and I were friends."

Axel somehow managed to look appalled and ecstatic at the same time. "Roxas…you shouldn't have…now he's going to harass you, too…" He smiled. "But thanks."

Marluxia and Zexion entered the room this time together. Roxas was torn between leaving and letting them have privacy with Axel and staying to make sure they didn't rip each other's throats out.

Eh, Axel could handle them. Roxas left to find Naminé.

His twin was back in the waiting room. She sat with her hands folded in her lap.

"You left Zexion and Marluxia with Axel?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah…maybe that wasn't such a good idea…"

"Maybe they won't be so mad at each other now that Axel's woken up," Naminé mused. "Are you ready to go?"

"Soon," he responded. "Do the doctors know he's awake?"

"Zexion told them already. They're going to keep Axel overnight for observation. If all goes well, he'll be released tomorrow morning."

"That's a relief," Roxas sighed.

Marluxia was the first to appear in the hallway again, about fifteen minutes later. He approached the twins in the waiting room.

"Axel wants to see you again, Roxas," Marluxia told him. "He said it won't take long."

"Are you heading back to RGU, Marluxia?"

"I'll be taking the next bus. It's in ten minutes."

"Could you…wait with my sister until I come back?" he requested.

Naminé gave Roxas a frightened look, but Roxas returned her gaze with reassurance. Marluxia wasn't bad; Roxas knew it. If Axel trusted Marluxia, then so could Roxas—and Naminé.

* * *

Zexion left the room wordlessly when Roxas entered. He was alone with Axel again.

"So…I should be out tomorrow. But on the off-chance that I'm not…could you make sure to get the class notes for me?" Axel asked.

"I think that already goes without saying, Axel," Roxas said bluntly. "What did you _really_ want to talk about?"

Once again, there was that hesitation. They lapsed into a silence for a few minutes. Roxas waited.

"Do you…dream?"

Roxas gave Axel and even look. "Everyone dreams, Axel."

The redhead snorted. "Right," he said. His face became serious again. "But do you remember them?"

Roxas shrugged. "Not really. Why?"

"It's just…nah, never mind." Axel shook his head.

Roxas knew the redhead wanted to say something else…but how could he coax it out of him?

"Is this about the dream Marluxia had?"

Red eyebrows shot upwards. "You know about that?"

Roxas nodded. "Marluxia told me."

"Apparently, Marluxia and I both had this dream about him kissing me. And now…we've both had a dream about me killing him."

The blonde hadn't known about the first dream, but he decided to keep that information to himself. The thought of Axel kissing Marluxia was…disturbing to him.

"I have to go," Roxas announced. "The bus leaves in a couple of minutes. But we can talk about this tomorrow if you want."

Axel nodded mutely, and Roxas left the room one final time.

* * *

"Riku, could you help me with this problem?" Sora asked.

The silver-haired teen raised an elegant eyebrow. "Are you sure you should be taking Classical Physics? If you're having trouble with kinematics, E&M is going to be a nightmare."

Sora pouted. "Well, if you're not gonna help me, I'll just have to find a tutor."

Riku immediately disliked the idea of having Sora get tutored. Sora trusted people to a fault—and Riku refused to give some creepy guy the opportunity to take advantage of his naïve friend.

Riku pulled up a chair beside the brunet. He leaned over Sora's right shoulder, pencil in hand.

"Which problem?" he asked.

"Number one."

Riku glanced at the blank page on Sora's desk. "Sora, have you even started the homework for tomorrow?"

The brunet abated his head, looking ashamed. "I got stuck."

"Just use the formulas we got in class. The first few problems only give you one unknown, so it's just a matter of plugging in the numbers and calculating."

"But I don't know where to plug anything in!"

"It's a freefall problem," Riku explained. "It's one of the easiest kinds of physics problems."

Sora sighed. "Forget it. I'll just get a tutor."

"You can do this, Sora."

"No, I can't. I'm stupid. Kairi was right; I don't belong in the Honors College."

Riku suddenly seized Sora's arm, his grip so tight it was painful. "Don't let me ever hear you say that again," he said lowly, his intense aquamarine eyes meeting Sora's sky blue. "Don't ever think you're not good enough or not smart enough—because you are."

"But I barely got in. I only just met the minimum requirements. You scored perfect scores on everything. I can never compare to you."

Riku's face seemed so close to Sora's. "Tests don't measure intelligence. Real-world application does," he insisted. "Sora…you make more dorky comments about stuff we learn in class than anyone I know. You're always incorporating what we learn into everyday conversation. Remember that time we were at the diner and you said that Kairi's salad reminded you of bimodal distribution?"

Sora's smile illuminated his entire face. "Yeah. You were the only one who thought it was funny."

"Dork," Riku said fondly, ruffling spiky brown hair. "You ready to take another stab at that physics problem?"

"Yeah," Sora responded. "Thanks, Riku."

"Okay." Riku leaned over Sora's shoulder again, his silver hair draping onto Sora's bare skin. "In freefall problems, initial velocity is always zero. Acceleration due to gravity is nine point eight-one meters per second squared. If you know the time it took for the object to fall, you just square it and multiply by acceleration due to gravity to find the distance it fell."

"Oh. I didn't realize initial velocity was always zero in freefall. That makes the problems so much easier."

Riku grinned cockily. "Of course. You think you can do the rest on your own now?"

Sora nodded. When Riku returned to his side of the room, Sora completed the remaining freefall problems quickly. Unfortunately, there weren't any other problems for him to struggle with.

* * *

"You're not going to tell me what you and Marluxia were discussing before you fell unconscious?" Zexion asked expectantly.

"Nothing to tell," Axel responded smoothly. "How are things going with your little blonde friend?"

"You're avoiding the subject."

"So are you."

Zexion tilted his head forward, his right thumb beneath his chin and his index finger resting below his lips. His left arm was folded under his right elbow. "It's a miracle we haven't killed each other yet."

"You could never kill me, Zexy—" Axel teased. "Who else would you play mind games with?"

"'All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.'"

Axel cocked his head. "Huh?"

"Edmund Burke," Zexion replied. "It doesn't excuse…but it explains."

Zexion seemed to vanish from the room, leaving Axel bewildered in the wake of his friend's words.

* * *

Once inside Ansem College, Marluxia parted ways from Roxas and Naminé.

"I guess…Marluxia isn't _so_ bad," Naminé admitted.

"He's just misguided sometimes," Roxas replied.

"That's a good way of putting it."

They walked in silence to Roxas' room. Naminé didn't seem to want to leave him yet.

"Roxas…are you okay?" she asked anxiously. "You seemed a bit off today."

"I'm fine," he responded automatically. "I'm just…worried about Axel."

Naminé didn't look convinced, but she smiled encouragingly. "He'll be okay." She briefly touched his shoulder before walking away. "If you need to talk, Roxas…I'm here."

* * *

Roxas was confused. One minute, he was in his dorm room, and the next he was in a strange, but familiar white room. He was holding a giant key in his hand, and it dangled limply at his side.

_Oathkeeper_.

Axel was in front of him, dressed in a black coat and wielding two chakrams.

"Axel…what happened to us?" Roxas hated the defeated sound of his own voice.

Axel smiled sadly. "There never was an 'us'." He stood.

"But what about before? We were best friends."

"Roxas..." Their eyes locked. Suddenly, Axel lunged at him, and before Roxas knew it, he felt Axel's chakram ripping through his body. As he felt his shadow-like existence fade away to nothingness, he heard Axel's voice in his ear.

"_We can't go back_."

* * *

_Roxas…Roxas…_

"Roxas! Roxas! Wake up, man!"

Hands were squeezing his shoulders and shaking his entire torso.

"Get your hands off of me," Roxas said coldly, hollowly.

"You really freaked me out there for a minute, Roxas," Demyx told him. Why did his roommate have to get in his face like that? "I was just about to call the ambulance."

Roxas shuffled his body backwards to get some space between himself and Demyx. "What happened?"

"I heard you fall to the floor, and you started twitching all of a sudden," he explained. "It was scary."

"I'm fine," Roxas repeated. Was he trying to convince Demyx or himself?

"If it happens again…I'm sending you to the infirmary. This isn't normal, Roxas."

"I know. Thanks."

_This isn't normal_.

What had happened when Roxas had passed out, anyway? It was as if he'd fallen into a dreamlike state, but he couldn't remember what he'd dreamt about.

Axel. Axel was in the dream.

Or was it real?

_This isn't normal_.

Axel…Axel…why would he have dreamt about the redhead?

Surely Roxas could recall the dream. It was somewhere in his head…just in a hard-to-reach place.

When Roxas went to sleep that night, he resolved to re-dream what he had seen earlier. It would be the only way he could remember.

But upon awakening the next morning, once again he felt as dreamless as ever.

_This isn't normal_.

* * *

"Roxas looked really happy to see you," Leon remarked.

"…" Cloud was putting away the last of his belongings.

"Have you spoken to Naminé yet?"

"…No."

"Did you make plans for lunch tomorrow?" Leon pressed.

"No."

"Dinner?"

"No."

"Do you ever give anything besides one-word answers?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

Cloud shrugged. He was tired. He wanted sleep.

"How come you didn't get to see Roxas these past few years?"

Instead of answering, Cloud climbed beneath his bed covers and turned away from his roommate of endless questions.

* * *

Roxas felt like garbage the next morning. He found he kept getting more run-down as the week went on.

Once again, he got to his Intro to Business class ten minutes early. As he made a beeline for his seat in the front and center, a pair of soft, pale hands covered his eyes.

The person behind Roxas was so close that the blonde could feel the other's body heat radiating from him. A mouth moved very close to his ear, hot breath escaping as it spoke. "Guess who?"

The scent of the person was familiar, comforting. Against Roxas' will, his instincts told him, 'This person is allowed in Roxas' personal space.'

"Axel," Roxas breathed, a smile ghosting over his face.

"The one and only. Got it memorized?"

Roxas turned around so he could get a proper view of his friend. "You're out of the hospital."

Axel grinned. "It was boring. I was Roxy-deprived."

"You make me sound like an addiction."

"You are."

"Well," Roxas returned, "I hope you're not quitting. Cold turkey would be no fun for either of us."

* * *

Lunch at noon became a regular event for Roxas and the others on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, Olette, Hayner, and Pence joined them. It was a really nice group; they all got along, despite individual quirks and oddities. Olette really hit it off with Kairi and Naminé—they were often left to their own devices to talk about 'girl stuff.'

"So…" Olette began, a sly smile on her face. "Do either of you have boyfriends?"

Kairi frowned. Naminé shook her head.

"Anyone you're interested in?"

Kairi's blush gave her away.

"C'mon! Tell me who it is!" Olette urged.

When Kairi didn't answer, Naminé did for her. "She's getting over an…unattainable crush."

Olette's ears perked. "How do you know it's unattainable?"

Kairi laughed, her expression wistful. "He's gay."

If possible, Olette looked more excited. She loved getting scoops. "Who is it?"

"It's…" Kairi stopped. "It wouldn't be right for me to say. Sorry."

Olette's head seemed to droop, but she changed attitude quickly. "Well, you know what they say about all hot guys being taken, animated, or gay."

Kairi giggled. She felt better.

At the other end of the table, Hayner and Roxas had connected over their common interest in Struggle.

"I was champion of Twilight Town," Hayner announced proudly. "Undefeated."

Roxas grinned. "We should spar sometime."

"There's a Struggle Club at RGU," Hayner commented. "Have you considered joining?"

"I didn't know," Roxas replied. "I couldn't find any club websites."

"The list of clubs is under the 'Students' link on the RGU homepage," Hayner told him. "So what kind of Struggle bat do you use?"

"Well, I prefer—"

"What is Struggle, Roxas?" Axel interrupted.

The blonde felt torn between the two questions. He tried answering Axel's as simplistically as possible so he could return to Hayner's. "It's a fighting game where you beat up your opponent with a bat." He continued, "I prefer to use—"

"Could you teach me?" Axel asked suddenly.

"Sure." Why did the redhead keep cutting him off? "I prefer to use the—"

"When?"

"—Oblivion bat." Roxas clenched his teeth and faced Axel angrily. "I'll never teach you if you keep interrupting me like that."

Axel abruptly became very quiet.

Across from Axel, Zexion and Demyx kept each other company.

"What's your favorite book, Zexy?" Demyx wondered.

"I appreciate many books for various reasons," Zexion responded. "It would be impossible for me to pick only one."

"What's the first one that comes to mind, then?"

"Frankenstein by Mary Shelley."

Demyx nodded approvingly. "Interesting choice. Why that?"

Zexion lifted an eyebrow. "You've read it?" Demyx didn't seem the type to read a lot.

"Twelfth grade Fantasian class."

Zexion nodded. "I can relate to Dr. Frankenstein, being a scientist myself," he explained. "Frankenstein is a reminder that even science has a moral aspect. We shouldn't push the bounds blindly."

"I agree," Demyx acquiesced. "I've always hated human experimentation. I mean, it's one thing to have a reasonable hypothesis and test it on humans, but to do some crazy experiment that has no practical application is stupid."

Zexion smiled inwardly. He liked Demyx the more he spoke with him. "Would you be interested in having lunch with me on Friday…just the two of us? Just to get away from, well…" he jerked his head in the direction of the giggling girls, "that."

Demyx beamed at him. "Sure! I'd like that."

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**Spring Nicht Flashbacks from Last Chapter:** I just want to take a moment to explain last chapter a bit. Some people got it, and some people had difficulty understanding, so I'd like to clear things up.

Although everything was in the third person perspective, the flashbacks occurred at different "points of view"—in other words, each section focused on the feelings and perceptions of a particular character. There were flashbacks the perspectives of the following people throughout the chapter: Axel, Roxas, Marluxia, and Zexion.

Since most of the original writing of SN was from Axel or Roxas' point of view, I showed some of the same scenes from different points of view from how they were initially written. Although there is something continuity in the text, changes were made to accommodate switches in perspective.

If you were having trouble understanding the last chapter, see if you can now make more sense out of it. If you have further questions after re-reading, feel free to ask, and I'll do my best to answer.

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**And don't forget to check out my new fics!**


	10. Part X

Reviewers—you are amazing. This story has already broken 100 on FF . net, plus 37 on AFF and 6 on MM—IBNI has already become more successful than _Spring Nicht_. You've been so encouraging. Thank you!

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part X

* * *

Roxas spent later that afternoon filling Axel in on the material that was covered in Business Psychology. They were in Axel's room, working on the homework.

"You finished, Rox?"

"Finished?" Roxas asked, exasperated. "I've barely started!"

"Are you having trouble with the short essay?"

"Yeah," he admitted. "How am I supposed to know what to do if I get caught in a scandal? I would never do something dishonest like that."

"Extrapolate," Axel told him. "What if you got framed for something illegal? What would you do?"

"I'd prove that I wasn't involved," the blonde responded, "and catch whoever was."

"Okay." Axel tapped his chin. "The only problem with that is Xaldin would fail you for that response."

"Why?" Roxas exclaimed indignantly. "Sure, I could expand on it more, but the thesis is sound."

"According to Xaldin, any thesis that doesn't improve your standing and make others look bad is not worth trying," Axel explained. "Trust me. Even if you don't believe it, you're better off writing what he wants to read."

Roxas frowned. "So what am I supposed to write?"

Axel hummed thoughtfully. Roxas stared expectantly.

"Well, I can't tell you the answer," Axel said, crossing his arms. "I think you have enough information to figure it out."

Roxas chewed on his lip and thought back to the lecture from Tuesday. Xaldin had said something about getting to the top no matter what…

"The best way to take advantage of the situation would be to frame the person in charge of the company and try to get that position," Roxas decided. "It's a risky move, but a smart enough person could accomplish that."

Axel pointed at his nose with one hand, and pointed at Roxas with the other hand, signifying that Roxas had 'hit it on the nose.'

Roxas smiled and began to inscribe his short essay. In the meantime, Axel started the reading to his Biopsychology class. He and Zexion shared a textbook for that class—it was more cost-efficient.

"Done," Roxas announced. He put the paper in his folder, closed his textbook, and put his belongings in his backpack. "Thanks for helping, Axel."

"Anytime," Axel responded. He glanced at the clock. "It's only seven. Wanna hang out for a while?"

"Okay," the blonde agreed. "What do you want to do?"

"We could just chill here," Axel suggested. "Zexion will probably be in the library 'til close to ten."

"Why does he go there?" Roxas asked. "It's quiet here."

"He's just more comfortable in the library," the redhead stated. He got up from his desk chair and seated himself on the two-person couch, where there was a softer cushion. "He's more in his element when he's surrounded by books."

"Oh." Roxas shifted in his chair.

Axel patted the seat next to him. "You can sit over here. The desk chairs are pretty lousy."

Roxas' heart pounded. His palms slickened with sweat. Nevertheless, he took the seat beside the redhead.

Axel raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay?"

Shit, was he that obvious? Now Axel was going to figure it out…

Figure _what_ out?

"I'm fine," Roxas replied curtly. Why was it so hot in the room? He wanted to take his shirt off, but he wasn't wearing an undershirt.

"Are you sure?" Axel pressed, his expression concerned. "You look kind of sick. You didn't look so good yesterday, either…but you look worse today." Axel pressed a hand to Roxas' forehead. The heat felt searing to the blonde's skin. "You're burning up. Your cheeks are all flushed. I'll get a thermometer." Axel stood and started rummaging through his desk drawer.

As Roxas stared at Axel's protruding ass, suddenly his pants felt too tight.

Fuck.

"I've gotta go to the bathroom!" Roxas said before scrambling out the door.

* * *

"Riku," Sora called to his friend sweetly. "Could you please help me with this math problem?"

"You finished your Writing homework?" Riku asked skeptically, without glancing up from his Philosophy book.

"Yep! I finished our Philosophy reading, too."

The silver-haired teen appeared amused by this prospect. "Really?" He finally turned around to face the brunet. "What was it about?"

"Socrates and Euthyphro basically fight over what piety means in _Euthyphro_. And I'm not telling you anything else. You're not mooching off of my reading."

"You mean your Spark Noting?"

Sora huffed indignantly. "I use the Spark Notes as a _supplement_ to the reading," he insisted. "Even our English teacher last year encouraged it."

"Yeah, right," Riku scoffed. "The day you use Spark Notes as a supplement will be the day you beat me in Struggle."

Sora glared. "Are you going to help me with my problem or what?"

Riku smirked. "Yeah, I'll help you with your _problem_." He slid his chair over to Sora's side and leaned over the brunet's shoulder, just like the day before, except a little closer this time.

"Number two. It says, 'Integrate.'" Sora scrunched his nose. Riku thought he looked adorable when he did that. "What does 'Integrate' mean?"

"Sora, you were in my Advanced Calc class last year. How do you not know how to integrate?" Riku tucked a silver strand behind his ear. "We went over it in class today. Weren't you paying attention?"

"Yeah…" Sora replied bashfully. He _had_ been paying attention…except he had gotten a bit distracted.

It was Riku's fault! Why did he have to have such a perfect, well -toned ass? And why did he have to sit in the seat directly in front of Sora? He knew Riku liked front-row seats, but Sora himself preferred the middle and back. He didn't like feeling like he was being scrutinized by the teacher. At the same time, he never liked being far from Riku. He was rarely seen out of a five-foot range of his best friend.

While Sora was lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed that Riku's face was just a few centimeters away from his. Aquamarine eyes bored into his.

"Liar," Riku whispered. There was that grin again, as arrogant as ever.

Sora's heart hammered against his chest. Riku was so close… Sora wanted nothing more than to jump out of his seat and put a few miles between them, but he somehow couldn't tear his eyes away from Riku. He couldn't back away from Riku's breathing, which seemed to have gotten heavier since the beginning of their conversation—or those dilated eyes, which were filled with an emotion he'd never before seen in the other—

"We should get back to the problem," Sora choked out. Riku face gave a slight jerk backwards, as if someone had yanked him out of whatever trance he had just experienced.

"Yeah," Riku agreed quickly, adjusting himself in his seat. "The problem."

* * *

"Roxas, are you okay?" Axel asked, lightly knocking on the bathroom stall.

"I'm fine," the blonde grumbled. "Can you just…leave?"

Roxas didn't see the redhead frown. "Uh…okay."

The blonde looked helplessly at his pants, which showed a noticeable bulge between his legs. What the hell was he supposed to do about it? Nothing like this had ever happened to him before. Was there something wrong with him?

Asking Axel was out of question. It was too embarrassing.

Roxas stepped out of the stall. He went to the door on the opposite side of the wall divider, which was further from Axel's room than the door he'd entered. He pushed it open just far enough so that he could see through the crack. Axel was standing outside the other door, but he didn't seem to have noticed Roxas yet.

Without warning, Roxas flung the door open and took off down the hallway.

"Roxas? Hey, Roxas!" Axel shouted. "Where are you going?"

"I gotta go Axel, sorry, bye!" the blonde returned over his shoulder.

It was quite uncomfortable sprinting through the building with the problem in his groin area. Thankfully, his room was open—Roxas wasn't sure if he'd be able to get the key in the hole. He slammed the door shut behind him and locked it.

Shit. He forgot his backpack in Axel's room.

Demyx smiled at him. "Hey, Roxas!" Upon seeing his roommate panting, he asked, "Why are you so out of breath?"

"Long story," Roxas exhaled. His problem was still there.

Well…Demyx was a boy. He could…ask Demyx.

He certainly wasn't going to ask Sora or Riku. Besides…he didn't exactly want to wander back into Axel's hallway…like that.

"Demyx…" Roxas ground out. "I have…a question."

The mullet-haired blonde watched him curiously. "What's up?"

"Well…has your…have you ever had…you see, I…"

"Are you okay, dude?"

Roxas finally snapped. "Mypenisgotbigger."

"What?" Roxas was about to repeat himself, but Demyx's eyes travelled down his body, then widened with comprehension. "Oh."

"Is there something wrong with me?" Roxas asked desperately.

Demyx giggled.

"It's not funny!" Roxas snarled.

Demyx brought his hand over his mouth to stifle the laughter. "I'm sorry, it's just… It's completely normal, Roxas. Welcome to manhood."

Roxas looked scandalized. "I beg your pardon?"

"Chill. It's normal, Roxas. It's just a sign of arousal."

Roxas blinked. "Arousal?"

"Yep." Demyx grinned. "So what hot chick caused _that_ to happen?"

"Uh…" Roxas flushed. "It wasn't a girl."

Demyx suddenly sprung out of his seat and threw his arms around Roxas, rocking the other back and forth. Roxas squirmed. "Oh, Roxy…I'm so proud of you! You came out of the closet!"

"First Axel…now you…"

"Speaking of Axel," Demyx said, pulling away. "It _was_ Axel, wasn't it?"

Roxas gulped. Was Demyx telepathic or something?

"I knew it!" he cried triumphantly. "You two are so gay for each other."

"What about you and Zexion?" Roxas riposted.

"What about me and Zexion?"

"You like him, don't you?"

Demyx sat back down in his desk chair. "Maybe. I'm still getting to know him."

"You two seemed to really hit it off from the beginning. And you've been hanging out with him a lot, haven't you?"

"Yeah," Demyx admitted. "I dunno. We'll see."

A knock on the door. "Roxas? Can you open up?"

Roxas panicked. He glanced down again, only to realize that his penis had returned to normal size. He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Damn, Roxas…" Demyx snickered. "I hug you, and you go from rock-hard to flaccid as a hypotonic cell in a hypertonic solution. Glad to know I'm such a turn off."

Roxas couldn't dignify that with a response. Instead, he opened the door, revealing an upset Axel.

"You forgot your backpack," Axel stated, handing the bag over to Roxas. "What just happened?"

Roxas was at a loss for words. Fortunately for him, Demyx wasn't.

"Roxas _promised_ me he'd give me the Writing homework at seven o'clock tonight—I missed class yesterday because…I went to the wrong class." Demyx grinned. "Thanks a lot, Roxas; you're a life saver! I'll see you later, 'kay?"

And somehow, Demyx had managed to shove Roxas out the door and lock it.

Once again, Roxas was in the hallway alone. With Axel.

"Sorry about that," Roxas said guiltily.

Axel gave him a calculating look. It was almost…distrustful. Maybe Roxas was just being paranoid, but Axel seemed like he knew it was a lie.

Then Axel slung an arm around Roxas' shoulder, so the blonde wrote off his prior thoughts as paranoia.

"Let's resume our prior activities, shall we?" Axel smirked. "And I don't mean getting sick, Roxas—you have a gorgeous face and everything, but no one likes to see a pukey face."

Roxas' cheeks burned. He prayed—to whatever deity that could hear him—that his body wouldn't rebel against him again.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

**Hypo-what?:** Yeah, Demyx is a dork, too…just a water and music dork. I learned in AP Bio MANY years ago that if you place a cell in a hypertonic (concentrated) solution, the water will move via osmosis from the cell into the solution, making the cell flaccid. That's the actual terminology used. Hehe. –is shot for making sexual puns out of cell biology-

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**After that, check out my new fics—they need some love!**

**1. **_**Untitled**_

**2. **_**Ha Ha You're Dead**_

**3. **_**I'm So Sick**_


	11. Part XI

Hey, everyone, I just wanna let ya'll know that from this point on the updating could be slower than you're accustomed to (instead of every two or three days or sooner—the speeds I was going from Part XI forward of SN and the beginning of IBNI). I have essays and finals this week, I leave town after my last final, and then I have to pack for college and leave when I get back.

I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but thank you all again for your continued support.

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part XI

* * *

Roxas was once more seated next to Axel on the couch. The panicked sensation in the pit of his stomach refused to go away.

"Why are you so nervous around me, Roxas?" Axel inquired.

"I'm not nervous," Roxas retorted. "I'm just…jittery. Lack of sleep puts me on edge."

Axel turned to face him, his eyebrows knitting with concern. "You haven't been sleeping well?"

"I…wake up a lot."

"From…?" the redhead prompted.

"Dreams," Roxas responded, not looking at Axel. "Dreams I can't remember."

"Not at all?"

Roxas shook his head. "No." When he finally dared to meet mawsitsit eyes, they pierced him, and the blonde knew that Axel did not believe him entirely. "Actually, I remember one thing," he admitted. "You're in them."

Axel looked surprised, and borderline thrilled. "Are you sure you don't remember anything else?"

Roxas nodded. "Yeah. I keep trying to remember, but I've never been good at recalling my dreams."

"I dream about you, too."

The blonde blinked. "Really?"

"Yup. I can't remember my dreams about you, either," Axel told him, "but I do remember that they're emotionally polarized—which is unusual, since a high proportion of dreams consist of neutral emotions."

"I see," Roxas replied, keeping his tone noncommittal. "What happened to your dreams about Marluxia?"

"I still get them," Axel said honestly. "But you've taken on a much larger role in my dreams."

As Roxas took this information in, he had a question on his lips that he'd been burning to ask. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know the answer. Yet at the same time, he _had_ to know.

"Are you and Marluxia together?"

"No."

"You can tell me the truth, Axel; I'm not stupid," Roxas bit out. "I saw you two at the party last week. You guys couldn't keep your eyes off each other."

"It's not like that," Axel insisted. "It was an experiment. And a mistake. Marluxia and I are not supposed to be anything more than friends."

"Oh yeah?" Roxas pressed on, gaining ammunition. "What about both of your make-out dreams? Maybe your subconscious is telling you something—that you're both gay for each other." Roxas wasn't a big fan of the 'gay for each other' expression, but Demyx had used it earlier, and it seemed appropriate now.

"Do you have a problem with homosexuality, Roxas?"

"I'm not gay!" the blonde snapped. He stood angrily and strode towards the door.

Axel, who had the advantage of longer legs, beat him to it, positioning himself between Roxas and the exit. "Roxas, I didn't ask if you were gay," the redhead told him slowly. Gentle hands deliberately squeezed Roxas' shoulders. The blonde's breathing, which had become faster and deeper, calmed almost imperceptibly. "I asked if you had a problem with homosexuality. The fact that you answered the question with a completely unrelated response…well, I don't want to jump to conclusions, but I believe it's something you should think about."

Axel was tantalizingly close. Roxas was torn between shoving the redhead away and pulling him closer, just to—

Just to _what_?

Sure, Roxas had come to terms with being attracted to people in general a few days ago, but even though they all happened to be men, the blonde had figured it was all just coincidence—the result of being exposed to primarily males since college started. He never seriously considered the possibility of being homosexual himself—or bisexual, like Axel.

Demyx had claimed earlier that Roxas and Axel were 'gay for each other.' Did that mean that he and Axel liked each other…as more than friends?

Roxas desperately wanted to know the answer. On Roxas' end, Demyx's statement seemed to add up—between Roxas' initial attraction, his jealousy towards Marluxia, and the whole situation with his penis just a few minutes earlier—it all screamed that his feelings for Axel were more than friendly. Then again, Axel didn't seem to be having the same problems. Maybe the redhead just had better control.

Roxas decided that it was a question for another day. He needed to figure out his own feelings first—then observe Axel's behavior and find proof that his feelings were returned.

"I'm sorry, Axel," Roxas apologized. "Like I said, I've been on edge. I think I'm going to go to bed early so I'm better rested. I'll see you at lunch tomorrow."

Axel took the cue to release Roxas' shoulders and move aside. "Bye, Roxas."

* * *

Sora and Riku were calling it quits for the night. It was too early to go to bed, but too late to actually go out and do anything. As a result, they opted to hang out in their room. The two friends were both seated on Riku's bed. Sora liked sitting next to Riku, close enough that their shoulders and thighs touched. Riku didn't mind when Sora leaned into him when he laughed, or that he unconsciously tangled their adjacent legs as the brunet spoke.

"Riku…" Sora began nervously, swinging his left leg so that his ankle hooked around Riku's right calf. "How come neither of us have had girlfriends?"

Riku was not expecting that question at all. After what had just happened less than an hour earlier, the silver-haired teen wondered how his friend could possibly be _thinking_ about girls. _Does he have balls of steel or something?_ Then again, perhaps what had precipitated was precisely the reason that Sora started thinking about girls.

If that was the case, then…Riku had no chance.

Riku decidedly treaded with caution. "Does it bother you that you haven't had a girlfriend?" he asked.

"Well," Sora responded thoughtfully, "I suppose it wouldn't matter to me if it was a _girl_." He folded his hands in his lap. "I just want someone who I can connect with…and be intimate with. Someone who I can trust. Someone who I enjoy spending a lot of time with."

Well, if Sora put it that way, then Riku fit the bill perfectly! If only…

Riku still played it safe. He needed to make sure he was interpreting Sora's words correctly. "What do you mean by 'be intimate with'?"

Sora giggled. "Well, you know…kissing and stuff like that."

Riku smirked. "Is 'and stuff like that' supposed to be code for sex?"

"Rikuuu," Sora whined. "I'm being serious!"

"So am I."

Sora's expression became vulnerable. Riku wanted nothing more than to wrap up his friend in his arms and just hold him. "I guess I didn't think that far ahead," Sora admitted. "But I don't see why not."

"Imagine if your mom heard you now. Yuna doesn't exactly condone premarital sex, does she?"

Sora grinned. It almost looked diabolical on his face. "What she doesn't know won't hurt her. Leon's gotten away with it."

Silver eyebrows shot up. "How do you know?"

"I accidentally opened one of his bags of college stuff and found a bunch of condoms," he replied cheerfully. "He said he'd cover for me when time came as long as I didn't tell."

* * *

When Axel entered the Business Psychology classroom the next morning, Roxas' head was on the desk.

"Look sharp, Roxas—you don't want Xaldy catching you falling asleep in his class," Axel advised.

The blonde groaned, still faced towards the desk top. "I only got three hours of sleep last night."

"I thought you went to bed early, gramps."

"I did," Roxas replied adamantly. "But I couldn't fall asleep or stay asleep."

"Roxas," Axel said seriously. "Are you sure there isn't something on your mind?"

The blonde finally looked up to face Axel, who was crouched in front of his desk. Roxas had bags under his eyes. His skin was pallid, and his blue eyes, which had been bright and vigorous at the beginning of the week, had a sunken look to him.

"It's nothing," Roxas responded. "It's just those stupid dreams. I'll get over them."

"You're gonna get sick if you keep this up, kiddo," Axel told him. "Get some rest tonight." With a ruffle of blonde hair, Axel took his seat behind his friend.

Class started with the students passing their homework to the front of the room. Roxas zoned out when he was supposed to collect the papers from Axel, but fortunately, the redhead pulled him back to reality with a tap on his shoulder.

Once the homework was in the professor's hands, Xaldin began by going over what he felt was the best response for the short essay. Roxas didn't really follow what Xaldin was saying—he wasn't physically able to. The fluorescent lights in the classroom seemed to contribute to his drowsiness. The background noises seem to meld together into a comfortable drone.

"Roxas, why don't you help us answer that question?"

The blonde's eyes snapped open. Xaldin was standing in front of him menacingly, his hands clasped behind his back and his lips curled into a sneer.

Fuck.

"I'm not sure I understand the question, Professor," Roxas said respectfully. "Could you please rephrase it?"

"It would be considerably easier to understand if you were awake and conscious, Mister Figaro," Xaldin responded caustically.

Roxas had a feeling he would never get on Xaldin's good side.

* * *

"How come you're in this class, Demyx?" Roxas asked, his expression quizzical. "You weren't here Tuesday."

Demyx grinned. "I told you—I went to the wrong class. I ended up repeating part of my Monday schedule, and by the time I figured it out, this class was almost over."

"I thought you made that all up," Roxas said. He had initially thought that Demyx going to the wrong class had been a far-fetched story, but he supposed sometimes truth was stranger than fiction. "Thanks for covering for me, though. Were you actually able to get the homework?"

"Yeah, I e-mailed Luxord and he got back to me. It wasn't a big deal for me to miss one class, but if I miss any more it could affect my grade."

Class began that day with an essay. The students in the class were all freshmen members of the Honors College. They were asked to write an essay about their most important experience. It was meant to be an evaluation of each student's writing skills as well as his or her personal statement.

Roxas wrote about going to college. He knew it was cliché, but he really believed that college was a life-changing experience. Already, he'd found himself questioning so many things…about others and about himself. If he was totally honest, he would've never given people like Axel or Demyx the time of day, but already they had become a vital part of his college life.

Previously, Roxas had always felt like one of the crowd—like he had no individuality. He was dubbed a 'good student' because he took all advanced courses and he got good grades. He never stood out. Even in his social circle, he was just _there_. He had friends, but he wasn't memorable—not like Sora. Sora always brightened up the room with his illuminating smiles, and could cheer up _anyone_—even a sulky Roxas and a grumpy Riku. He was friendly and inclusive—though Sora spent most of his time with Riku, he was willing to allow anyone to join them, for he couldn't stand the thought of leaving a person lonely.

Maybe in college Roxas would be able to find people he truly connected with.

Maybe in college Roxas would find himself.

* * *

Zexion and Demyx had gotten themselves a separate table for lunch, just as they'd planned.

"What kind of music do you listen to, Zexion?" Demyx inquired.

"I prefer classical," he answered succinctly. "There is proven educational value in listening to it."

"But that doesn't mean you can't learn anything from other kinds of music," Demyx countered.

Zexion raised an eyebrow, urging the blonde to continue.

"Classical music is great because compared to other styles of music, it has perfect instrumentation, intonation, and mechanics," Demyx described. "Classical music would be to contemporary music as King Lear would be to Star Wars."

"Star Wars is a movie," Zexion pointed out.

"There are books based on the movie." Demyx waved his hand dismissively. "But that's not the point. King Lear has a very specific format and is put together in a very particular way—it's an 'ideal' play. There's a main plot—Lear's—that parallels the subplot—Gloucester's—which allows us to dissect the characters so we can learn something from their underlying differences. Star Wars, on the other hand, doesn't follow that 'ideal' format—it makes character and plot analysis harder, but it doesn't make the story any less great."

"Are you implying that classical music is simplistic?"

"Comparatively speaking, classical music is simpler to understand because it tends to follow certain rules—there's a heavier emphasis on mathematics. But there's only so far you can go, creatively speaking. Popular music has no rules—it's all about feeling the music. Plus, lyrics play a much bigger role in non-classical music. Lyrics add a new dimension—we can learn things from a literary standpoint or a conceptual one."

Zexion was floored by Demyx's knowledge. The aspiring psychiatrist, who was accustomed to dealing with idiots on a day-to-day basis, seldom found worthwhile company in others. He liked Axel, who could match him wit for wit in his mind games and undercover schemes. Demyx, however, showed a very distinctive kind of intelligence—one that Zexion had great respect for. The musician saw value in everything. He didn't see things as better or worse—just _different_. Anything could be good in its own right.

Zexion smiled. It wasn't a full-out grin, but the movement in his lips was more exercise than he was used to. "I can certainly see why you've been accepted into the Honors College."

"Really?" Demyx asked. He practically glowed at the compliment. "I was actually surprised that I made it. My grades in high school weren't that great, and my standardized test scores were about average…but I guess they really liked my essay. Either that, or they had to fill a Music major quota." He laughed.

"Affirmative action based on major? That's new," Zexion remarked dryly. "Regardless of your grades, you deserve admittance."

"Thanks, Zexy," Demyx said. He leaned back in his chair, gazing thoughtfully in the distance. "You know…people at school always said I was stupid…but I never believed them. Someone told me once that I was smart—just in a different way from others. So I kept working on improving my strengths—and never let my weaknesses stop me from succeeding."

"That's an admirable approach to life," Zexion commented.

Demyx nodded. "The funny part is…I can't remember the guy who told me that. The one person who believed in me and convinced me to forget what everyone else said…and I can't remember him at all."

"It wasn't one of your parents…?" Zexion guessed.

"Are you kidding? My parents refused to pay for college if I was going to do music—my choices were doctor, lawyer, or science teacher. Luckily, I scraped together enough money from scholarships and financial aid packages to pay for everything. I had to write an awful lot of essays to that money together."

"That's…terrible."

The blonde shrugged. "I don't see it that way. So what if I had to declare financial independence? So what if I have to work extra hard to get myself an education? I'll do anything to make sure I'm happy with my career. And as long as my career involves music, I'm happy."

* * *

Just as Roxas was making the turn towards where Sora and the others were sitting, Axel nudged him in the opposite direction.

"Let's sit over there today," the redhead suggested.

The two took seats on the opposite side of the eating area. They'd both decided on Caesar salads. It was expensive compared to junkier foods the school sold, but it was definitely healthier.

Axel glanced to his far left. "They're cute together, aren't they?"

Roxas followed the redhead's gaze. Zexion and Demyx were in the distance. They seemed to be engaged in a thought-provoking conversation. Roxas smiled genuinely. "Yeah."

Roxas recalled his conversation with his roommate from the prior night. Even Demyx wasn't turned off to the possibility of being romantically involved with another male. Roxas decided that Demyx and Zexion were good together. They _fit_.

Maybe…Roxas and Axel could fit like that.

"You coming to the party tomorrow night?" Axel asked.

Roxas frowned. "What party?"

"D2 again. And I promise not to make you sick."

"I dunno, Axel…I feel kinda run-down…"

"You're not sleeping anyway, so you might as well stay up all night and have fun," Axel rationalized with a grin.

"There's no point for me to come," Roxas told him. "I don't drink, and all they play are drinking games."

"Psh, you don't need beer to play a drinking game. How about this: we buy ourselves a couple of cartons of orange juice and use that as a substitute."

Roxas looked at him skeptically. "You're not drinking either?"

Axel winked. "I'll take you over booze any day, Roxy."

The blonde couldn't stop the blush that crept up his cheeks. "Okay," he relented. "I'll go."

The remainder of the lunch passed in a companionable silence. Roxas was actually glad to be away from the others—it gave him time to think and sort out his thoughts.

"We collaborating on homework tonight, Rox?"

Roxas shook his head. "Not tonight. I have other stuff I have to do." Like talk to Naminé.

"All righty. See you tomorrow."

* * *

Leon was trying to make idle conversation with his roommate again. His cousin's cousin.

The guy wouldn't talk! He barely _looked_ at Leon—he just sat there at his desk, scribbling on paper. Leon supposed Cloud didn't own a laptop, considering he'd barely had enough money to fly over to Kingdom Hearts.

"Where did you go to school before you transferred here?" Leon questioned.

"Zelda."

Cloud wasn't even going to throw him a bone.

"Incredible," Leon replied sarcastically. "And here I thought you'd have gone to school in Halo—all the way on the Xbox continent."

Cloud finally stopped writing long enough to turn his head and look at Leon. He just looked, his face devoid of expression. Leon wondered how it was physically possible for the blonde to keep his face completely immobile.

"Why do you keep asking questions?"

Leon crossed his arms. "Why do you have to make things so difficult?"

Cloud's bright blue eyes drifted to the floor. "I don't want to…inconvenience you."

Leon noticed for the first time that Cloud had a slight accent—after all, it was the most consecutive words his roommate had spoken since they'd met. He also realized that Cloud at times seemed to struggle for his words…Leon wasn't sure if it was because Fantasian was Cloud's second language, or if it was a normal occurrence for the blonde.

"I didn't mean it like that," Leon stated. "I just want to get to know you. You're my roommate, and if that isn't reason enough, you're the cousin of my cousins. It's kind of hard to ignore each other if we end up at the same family gathering."

Cloud nodded slowly and turned back towards his paper.

"I went to Twili Community College. Zeldian is my first language."

* * *

Naminé was in her room, as expected. She had always been the solitary type, even more so than Roxas. And the only reason Roxas was remotely social was because of Sora.

"Hey," Roxas said when his twin opened the door.

"Hi," she greeted him quietly.

Kairi wasn't in the room. Roxas was glad.

"You remember what you asked me earlier this week?" Roxas asked.

Naminé didn't beat around the bush. "About your attraction to Axel?"

"Yes," Roxas hissed. It sounded…weird…to actually say it out loud. "I think you're right."

Naminé smiled. "Of course I'm right."

Conversation died for a minute. Roxas tried to gather his thoughts together.

"I'm sure you didn't come here to give me a reason to gloat," Naminé told him lightly. "And you don't need my approval to go after him." She bit her lip contemplatively. "Are you worried because he's a boy?"

"Sort of," Roxas admitted. "I don't have a _problem_ with it. It's just…" He paused to find the right words. "…It's hard to suddenly realize you're attracted to men when you've assumed all along that you were attracted to women."

Naminé giggled. "Since when were you attracted to girls, Roxas?"

"I was asexual!" Roxas cried indignantly. "I just thought I was a late-bloomer!"

"Roxas, half of our family was making googly eyes at Riku—including you."

"I did _not_ make 'googly eyes' at Riku!"

"Okay, maybe not _googly eyes_," Naminé said. "That honor goes to the other set of Figaro twins. But you have to admit you would look at Riku a bit longer than you would look at anyone else."

When Roxas thought about it…Naminé was right. Roxas, although he never thought of himself as having a full-fledged _crush_ on Riku…he did enjoy _looking_ at the other boy. It wasn't something he'd been consciously aware of until college—it was just one of those things he unknowingly did because he subconsciously felt that Riku was the most attractive person present.

"Wait…" Roxas said suddenly, the prior statements in the conversation dawning on him. "Sora and Kairi both like Riku?"

"Yes," Naminé replied. There was no point in hiding it now, and she knew her twin wasn't going to blab.

If Sora and Kairi liked Riku, then who did Riku like…?

Roxas' eyes widened. "Riku and Sora are gay for each other?!" he whispered, shocked.

It seemed that the 'X is gay for Y' expression kept coming up that day.

Naminé giggled behind her hand. "They don't know it yet, though."

"Does homosexuality run in the family?" Roxas wondered.

"Kairi and I are heterosexual," Naminé pointed out. "So are Leon and all of our parents."

"Is Cloud gay?"

For once, Naminé didn't have an answer. "It's been a while since we've seen him. He wasn't romantically inclined back then."

Perhaps college would reveal their cousin's sexual preference. It didn't matter to Roxas—but he was curious.

He wasn't curious enough to ask him, though.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

OMG…that scene b/t Axel and Roxas in the beginning was SO HARD TO WRITE! I JUST WANTED THEM TO JUMP ON EACH OTHER AND GET ON WITH IT!

I hope you feel my pain. xD UST much?

**Falling Asleep in Class (in College):** Just so I don't scare off people who aren't in college yet/about to start college—not all professors are evil like Xaldin. You _can_ get professors who will put you on the spot, but in my experience, I have never been reprimanded/embarrassed when I fell asleep in class (and I do it a _lot—_like practically every class—because I'm such an insomniac and don't sleep at night xD).

* * *

**PLEASE REVIEW! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

**FF . Net Users: Vote in my Poll!**


	12. Part XII

* * *

_**Ich Bin Nich' Ich**_

-

Part XII

* * *

Roxas slept through every single one of his classes that Friday. The quality of sleep he got was terrible. After all, who could possibly get decent shuteye with the constant speaking of a professor in the background?

Axel desperately wanted to know what dreams disrupted Roxas' sleep.

"Do you want to take a nap before the party?" Axel asked Roxas after their Business Statistics class.

The blonde shook his head. "I won't stay asleep anyway."

Axel's eyebrows furrowed. "Do you think you should see a doctor about this? Things can't go on like this."

"It's fine," Roxas insisted. "I'm probably just adjusting."

No matter how much Roxas denied the problem, Axel resolved to get his friend help if it wasn't fixed by next week.

Roxas rubbed his forehead. "Hey, Axel? I think I'm going to skip lunch today. I have a headache."

"You'd probably feel better if you slept," Axel pointed out.

"Axel…" he groaned.

The redhead slung an arm around Roxas' shoulder. "Let's go back to my room. I'll make you some soup and give you some aspirin."

"I don't know, Axel…"

Too bad Roxas didn't have much of a choice in the matter, with Axel's hand gripped tightly on his shoulder. Fortunately, Axel didn't exactly have to twist the blonde's arm.

* * *

Kairi wasn't stupid. Once Naminé had pointed out Riku's lack of attraction to Kairi, the auburn-haired teen had realized that her twin and her crush had the hots for each other. The question: Why were Riku and Sora _not_ together?

Kairi wished she could help her brother—especially since it was obvious _he_ was the one who belonged with Riku. The more she thought about the situation, the more clear it became that Sora and Riku were meant for each other all along.

After all, Kairi's crush was just that—a crush. Sora and Riku, however, had something special. Riku looked out for Sora and protected him. Sora was perhaps the only person who could make Riku smile effortlessly. And above all, they made each other happy. They were partners in everything in life, and Kairi couldn't remember or imagine a time differently.

In the meantime, she'd keep an eye on Sora and Riku. As much as she cared for their well-beings, it was probably best that she didn't get involved. If things fell apart and they needed a push in the right direction, she'd do it without a second thought. But she had faith that they'd find their way.

* * *

Zexion and Demyx ate lunch together again. They rather enjoyed each other's company and never seemed to run out of topics for discussion. They took great pleasure in having their intellectual conversations. It was the most talking Zexion had ever done in his life.

During a pause in their interaction, Zexion's eyes made their way towards the table that contained Roxas' family and friends.

"Axel and Roxas aren't here," Zexion murmured.

"I think Roxas is getting sick," Demyx offered, hoping to provide an explanation,. "Every morning he wakes up…he looks less healthy than the last day."

"Is he sleeping?" Zexion inquired.

"I don't know," Demyx said feebly.

Zexion wondered if Roxas, too, like himself and Axel, had experienced a recent change in sleeping habits. And if so, did this correlation occur for the same reason?

* * *

Roxas was lying on Axel's couch. Axel had his hot pot boiling water on his desk. By the time the soup was ready, the blonde had fallen asleep.

Axel sat next to Roxas on the couch, brushing his hand against the hair on the side of the blonde's head.

Roxas looked anything but peaceful. Blonde eyebrows tightened into a pained look, and his muscles were so tense Axel was sure the other would wake up sore.

Roxas was sweating as his breathing became faster and deeper. Fists and teeth clenched unconsciously.

"Axel…" Roxas said desperately. His eyelids were shut, his eyeball movements slow and rolling. "What happened to us?" A pause. "We were best friends."

Best…friends?

A scream ripped itself from Roxas' throat, and the blonde was thrown back into reality. He sat up quickly, shaking and frightened. He shoved Axel blindly off the couch and ran to the corner of the room, crouching and covering his ears.

"…Roxas?" Axel inquired, touching the blonde's shoulder tentatively.

Roxas flinched. "Why?" he asked weakly, his voice cracking. "Why can't we go back?"

Seeing Roxas in such emotional pain just about broke Axel's heart. Regardless of the apparent randomness of the blonde's question, Axel somehow knew exactly how to answer. "Because looking at the past prevents us from living in the present."

The redhead helped Roxas to his feet and led him back to the couch. Roxas shivered. Axel put an arm around the blonde's shoulder and drew him in until Roxas leaned his head against his shoulder. Axel rubbed Roxas' arm and felt the blonde relax beneath his hand. Likewise, Axel placed his head against Roxas'.

After a long, comforting silence, Axel spoke again. Roxas felt the redhead's throat vibrate against him. "Roxas…what just happened?"

"It was just a bad dream," Roxas insisted. "I can't remember it, anyway—it's not a big deal."

"A bad dream?" Axel repeated. "More like a night terror."

"I didn't do anything stupid, did I?" Roxas asked quietly.

Instead of responding, Axel countered with his own question. "Why did you say we were best friends?"

Roxas stared blankly. "I said that?" Axel nodded. "I've never…really had a best friend before," the blonde admitted.

Axel didn't know what to say to that. When he thought about it, he was pretty much in the same situation as Roxas—the closest thing he had to a best friend was Zexion. He and Zexion had a strange and competitive relationship, but they understood each other, despite the mind games and constant tricks. But at the same time, he couldn't bring himself to label Zexion as he "best friend," nor could he envision Zexion calling Axel his.

"Best friends are overrated," Axel decided. "If we've survived over eighteen years without one, they're not really necessary."

Roxas shrugged. "I guess," he responded. "I just feel like I'm missing something—or someone."

Again, Axel was at a loss for words. It seemed that Roxas was the only one who could make him not know what to say. There was more the redhead wanted to tell him, but he didn't really want to hurt Roxas or scare him.

Axel opted for a subject change. He lifted his head. "You wanted some soup?"

Roxas nodded, lifting his own head to allow Axel to stand. Axel retrieved the warm soup from his desk and handed it to the blonde.

"Feeling any better?" Axel questioned.

Roxas took a sip of the broth. "Yeah."

Those cerulean eyes were lying again. Did Roxas think that the fact that his eyes had iced over meant that Axel still couldn't see right through him?

"Roxas…" Axel said solemnly. "Don't lie to me."

"Don't tell me to do something you don't already do yourself!" Roxas snapped. A pale, horrified hand flew to cover his mouth.

Did Roxas remember?

"When have I lied to you?"

Roxas gave that helpless, blank look again.

…He didn't remember.

"You know, Roxas…the only reason I'd ever lie to you would be to protect you."

"I don't need you to protect me," Roxas declared, his tone resentful. "Worry about yourself first."

Axel felted his heart plummet. Was Roxas angry at him for what he did?

"I'm going to get ready for the party," the redhead announced, getting up to open the door. "Goodbye."

Stiffly, Roxas stood, soup in hand, and silently exited the room.

Axel was torn. He was furious at Roxas for not understanding or accepting Axel's actions. Didn't Roxas comprehend how much the redhead cared for him?

No—Roxas didn't remember, and therefore would not accept his feelings.

Was Axel's sacrifice in vain? Did Roxas only hate him for Axel's attempt to save him?

Axel couldn't force Roxas to recall these memories. Were they even real?

Marluxia had confirmed the dreams once already. That couldn't be coincidence, could it?

Axel felt like he was going crazy, but he was pretty sure he wasn't.

It was time to talk to Zexion.

* * *

"Do you think there will be another party tonight, Riku?" Sora inquired.

Riku's shoulders rose and fell, signifying a lack of knowledge.

"There was one last week," Sora concluded. "I could ask Leon."

"Is there really a point in us going if we can't even drink or play any of the games?" Riku asked tiredly.

"Of course there is!" Sora exclaimed. "We could always hang out with Olette, Hayner, and Pence."

"Sure—" Riku joked, his voice sarcastic, "you just want to 'hang out' with Olette so you can look into her 'pretty eyes'."

"But your eyes are so much prettier, Riku."

Riku choked. Where the hell had that come from?

"You've got really nice hair, too," Sora continued, running his fingers through a strand. "It's so…smooth." Sora smiled at his roommate, and Riku prayed that the flush on his cheeks didn't give him away.

Riku gulped. "Sora…what are you doing?" He wasn't used to his best friend being so…forward.

Sora giggled. When had he gotten so close? The brunet's hand was still caught in silver hair. Was it possible…?

"Sora—" Riku repeated, this time more forcefully. "Why are we doing this?"

The brunet still said nothing; he only inched his face closer to Riku's.

Riku stood rooted to the spot, his arms dangling uselessly at his sides. Wasn't this a bad idea? Riku couldn't get involved with Sora—Sora was too…perfect. What if Riku failed Sora again? What if he once again betrayed his best friend?

A loud bang resounded throughout the room when Riku's physics textbook fell to the floor, causing the two teens to jerk away from each other.

The Law of Gravity had decided for him.

* * *

Axel sat in his room doing absolutely nothing for a good hour before Zexion returned—with a guest.

"Axel." Zexion was clearly put-off by the redhead's presence. Or rather, it was clear to Axel. Zexion's face didn't move much, but Axel learned to sense his roommate's mood. Often the changes in the inflection of Zexion's voice or his expressions were so minute that the visible eye or attentive ear could not detect them, but the redhead subliminally seemed to pick up on them.

Zexion's urges—or whatever he felt—could wait. Right now, Axel needed to make sure he wasn't losing his mind; he needed to know how to deal with Roxas tonight. He simply couldn't risk upsetting the blonde again.

Luckily, Zexion's guest—Demyx—seemed to understand Axel's plight. "I'll see you at the party, Zexy." With a kiss on the cheek, Demyx floated away.

Axel rested his head in his hands. He didn't know where to begin. Zexion took a seat at his desk and began checking his e-mail. They both knew sometimes it was easier to talk without making eye contact.

"Don't let them influence you."

Axel looked up from his hands, confused.

"The dreams," Zexion elaborated. "You remember and he doesn't—is that right?"

"He sort of remembers," Axel replied. "He says things like he does remember, but then he can't remember why he says them."

Zexion pressed his lips together. "For now, don't acknowledge the dreams or try to make him remember. It's all in the past now. If you dwell on it, you'll miss your opportunity again."

A thin red eyebrow arched. "How much do you remember?" He was curious. He wanted to know as much as possible about this supposed past life.

Zexion winced. "Enough." Had Axel not been looking at the silver-haired teen as the other stared at the computer, he would have missed the flash of anguish across Zexion's face. Suddenly, the Edmund Burke quote Zexion had mentioned at the hospital made sense.

"I don't blame you at all," Axel told him. "If anything, it was my own fault." Axel hesitated, not knowing if he wanted to hear the answer to the other question that burned on his lips. "What happened…after I died?"

Zexion moved the computer mouse and clicked on an unread e-mail. It bought him a few seconds of time, but it did not grant him escape. "We defeated Xemnas."

Axel's eyes narrowed. "I figured as much. After that?"

Zexion frowned. "I don't remember."

"You don't remember how you died?" The only way they could've been reincarnated was for them to die. Could Nobodies even die from natural causes…?

Click. Another click of the mouse. "No."

_**Fucking liar.**_

But Axel didn't press it any further.

* * *

-tbc-

* * *

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